How my issues kill my self-esteem

I just read a post about where people get their self-esteem from.

For me, self-esteem comes from personally meaningful accomplishments and being able to make a difference in people's lives and the world around me, in ways which respect my own system of values.

I like being that way, it just makes sense to me. But my issues ... primarily social anxieties and learned helplessness ... get directly in the way!

Some people would argue that self-esteem is an inherent unchangeable quality, a sense that you are a good person. I can say that I am a person who tries to be the best "me" I know how to be, and that I do possess aptitudes and qualities I like when I see them in others. That's all fine and dandy ... BUT SO WHAT!? It's not like I often DO anything with them!!!!

If I cannot USE these aspects of myself in the world, then I am a brain in a jar on a dusty shelf. Would you rather be an eagle flying free, or a stuffed eagle adorning the wall in a taxidermist's shop? They are both eagles, inherently and unchangably, so what's the problem? *laughter*

I'm feeling buried under the weight of my own sins of omission, disconnected from my own self.

Are you in the process of trying to push yourself to accomplish one specific thing? I can understand dissatisfaction of a lifetime of dealing with this, but the sins of omission is confusing.

How many things are going on for you right now? Yes, I can see the anger...rage away at me if you think it will help

Thanks. I won't rage away at you!

Sins of omission ... I know hindsight is 20/20, but I see a lot of things I could/should/ought to have done better or differently in the past (I know, it's bad to "should" on oneself, lol) and in those moments, I remember having the desire to act, but then I just didn't, always playing it too safe, not being assertive, or thinking things wouldn't work out. What bothers me is that I STILL do it. It's true that we regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.

Yes, we do regret the should haves more than the hey, I really ****ed that ups. At least the **** ups took place.

You know that you still do it. Is it a stretch, haha, to kick yourself in the *** the next time a should oportunity arises. I know it is.

I should have and shouldn't have done a lot of things,,,we all have.

Regrets of missed possibilities/ inaction will tear you to pieces.

Please go for it. If it is a major mistake than you'll be just like the rest of us and we somehow get over most of our mistakes.

I'm going to PM you so I don't lose sight of this thread...I really want to continue this conversation

I do have to go to bed now though.

Please get some good sleep and we will talk sometime tomorrow.

Hugs and hope and all that good stuff.

Night

I have felt deep regret before, in my life. I endured it, but barely.

It seems you need help, fast, to me. Do not wish this away. It will not disappear, i do not believe. You can not travel in time, and change any event or decision. I've done thoughtless mean things, and I have felt sorrow as a result, also.

The guilt feelings might ease, if you try to understand what happened, and how to prevent it from happening in the future. Best....Brook

Some people might have no success in life but it should not stop them being confident. Everybody deserved having a good image of themselves.

John

Hey, you're way ahead of me. Seems like you have some decent people skills. Be proud of that.

These days I think a lot about the increase in self-medicating in Society and the only reason I can come to believe that people do that to themselves is because they're not happy with some big or small part of their lives. Or why else would they do that? If you liked yourself you certainly wouldn't do that to yourself. As long as there are unhappy people I think there will always be a need for alcohol which is a real shame in this day and age. (Sorry, not trying to change the subject.)