This is how I feel about life

I feel like life does not want me to succeed. Earlier today, when I tried to fix a bracelet that basically was out of place, it took me several times to fix it. I asked someone to do it for me, and they were able to do it in just a fraction of a second. I wondered why I couldn't have done it the way she did it. I was so mad at myself. I was like, "I am not good luck."

Or when I want to learn something online or take some notes about a topic, do you know how hard it is to rephrase the notes so that it would be more concise and less wordy? I tried to do that and guess what...I can only write it word for word.

Others praise me for my proficiency in writing papers, but I don't seem to be using a lot of highfalutin phrases. It made me feel like my skills for writing was inadequate, and that I needed to practice more. I can't see myself as being booksmart, yet others are trying to convince me that I am. I'm skeptical about that so I go, "Am I really?" I mean, when I compare my paper with that of my friends, I'm like,"Wow, look at all the words you use. You ought to be in college now." that's why i've been wanting to look up a lot of words because i feel like I need to "catch up." But for some reason, porn and masturbation has killed most of my brain cells, leading to a deficiency in word choices and an obliteration of my former skills that come in handy. Porn and masturbation are always there to hinder my success. They both appear either separately or together to let me know that they're not going to let me advance, due in part to your former theft of your teacher's dictionary. Isn't there a time when I get to be the nerd? I have never been the nerd in class and it makes me sad. I'm like,"Destiny opens her arms for these guys and sets them up for success. As for me, I don't always get to be caught in her warm embrace." I simply don't know what my talents are.

I just don't see the self-worth in myself.

I'm sorry that you aren't recognizing any of the skills that you have right now. Maybe you should aim for lower, more recognizable tasks. If you keep focusing on broad, wide dreams, there isn't much that you're going to reward yourself for.

Try writing down daily tasks that you can actually achieve. Like: spend 1 hour writing a story; go for a work-out; do laundry (or some other cleaning task); do something fun ~ to reward yourself for following the tasks listed!

The more often you do it, the better you'll feel about your abilities & the less often you'll spend kicking yourself for whatever. {We can always find something to kick ourselves about! The challenge is to create things to pat yourself on the back for.}

Hope that this helps you...

it's not that they're broad and that they're incapable of being achieved. the problem is that i have this fear that obstructs me from moving out of my comfort zone and doing something different. I just don't feel like trying out new stuff.

In my experience, letting my fear control my actions really binds me. Then, I end up kicking myself even more than I did before.

That's why I recommend taking small steps. They're small, yes. But, you're still moving forward ~ instead of letting discomfort and unsure rule your action.

Example: I CAN do a 1,000 piece puzzle. It will take some time and focus, but I can do it. In fact, I have one 3/4 assembled on my kitchen table! It's been like that for over 1 year ~ and protected by a table cover. I can finish the puzzle. I should finish the puzzle, but I can't find the gumption to just do it already! Does that mean that I should take it apart? No. I keep it there, waiting & I do other smaller puzzles to build up the gumption to get back into my large puzzle again.

Hope that's a good analogy. It makes sense in my head anyway.

I think the porn and masturbation are easy brain drains.

The world is feeding us these easy brain drains. The world at large doesn't really want YOU to succeed. Oh sure, your friends and family do, and perhaps a social worker. But people, in general, don't care. This is the situation with mankind. So throughout history, we have collectively created all of the brain drains. Like porn, or endless television, endless youtube watching, blogging, internet surfing, ipod entertainment, slot machines (actual studies show that gambling addiction "reshapes" the brain for dependence), etc....etc...

The trick isn't "how to be smarter". You already have the ability. The real trick is "how to avoid the traps of brain drains." It is all about TIME management, and FOCUS.

Get out a piece of paper. Turn it landscape and divide it into 7 days of the week. Divide each column into 24 hours. Fold it up and put it in your pocket. Every single hour for the next week, take that paper out and write down what you did for that hour. Do NOT get lazy and wait till the end of the day and then try to fill in the whole day. You MUST record it hourly. Just a little two or three word phrase to describe the hour. You only have to do this for one week. You can do it.

After one week, get out some highlighter markers and analyze the data.

One HUGE problem I see with addictions is, the failure rate for going cold turkey. While meanwhile, a lot of successful people engage in these brain drains, they don't waste more than 2 to 4 hours a week on them.

If you are spending 2 hours a day, that is 14 hours a week! You have to find ways of trimming that down and replacing it with meaningful growth. It doesn't matter HOW you find growth. Maybe you get a book on origami. Maybe you buy a guitar and start learning to play. Whatever it is, immerse yourself in it in DIRECT competition with your additions. Get those addictions down to a normal level to avoid having to quit completely.

Know why I get to drink a beer at a party and my buddy can't? Because I only drink 2 to 6 beers a month. And he could never trim his consumption down. He ended up in AA and now he can't touch the stuff. Get your consumption down to 2 hours per week and then life will begin again for you!

IMO