[Fuzzybear]

If you have trust issues how do they manifest online?

[pegasus]

Trust no-one!

[therealme]

this is how i started here on PC, with three words " don't trust anybody" ( DTA )
but as time has gone by i feel i can trust a few people online,.
but i am very wery other newbies... that may sound bad but once i get to know people then i can start trusting.

dec

[SeptemberMorn]

I go mainly by their screen names. I have to say that many of them turn me off or away from a person. Out of those names that don't make a bad impression on me, I will read a post or two and go by what my gutt feeling is.

That's a tricky question. It seems whenever you let your guard down and trust people, they either let you down or hurt you quite badly.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( pegasus )))))))))))))

((((((((((((((( Dec ))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Tomi )))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Always )))))))))))))))

[nothemama8]

the best person to trust is yourself, then after you learn more about ppl then choose who feels safe

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks hon, that is wise advice!

Take care,
Fuzzy

[Christina86]

I don't really know... I tend to keep people at arms length from getting any part of me while encouraging them to share parts of themself. Sounds one sided, but this is how I deal with people in the beginning.

Sometimes I dont even trust myself so I tend to push people away a lot.

Sorry I'm a bit all over the place!!

((Fuzzy))

[pegasus]

((((((((((((( Fuzzybear )))))))))))))

I think what we need to do is to trust ourselves, trust the gut-feeling and sometimes learn to allow.

The part of us that is careful and wary is a protective part and not a bad thing, we don't want to get hurt all over again, but sometimes we need to learn their are good people out there too.

[Flinty]

I am a firm believer in gut feelings & they are usually spot on!!

[Wants2Fly]

Hi FuzzyBear -- I think you've brought up a very important topic.

The biggest trust issue concerns the online environment itself. This is a public environment and here in the US we have no protections from what we write online being legally used against us. Our computers can be seized in legal investigations. Pseudonyms are easily broken by government snoops.

I find that so inhibiting that individual issues of trust have little to do with my behavior. I had to leave the forums for a while, as you know, because I believed that someone here "had it in for me." I do not know if that perception was true or false, but it was my perception, and I had to absent myself for a while to deal with those feelings. It's definitely an issue of trust if one believes that one cannot come to an online community that exists for support and find that here.

In terms of trusting an individual, I would have to develop, at the very least, a personal email correspondence with someone before trust would become much of a factor for me. This leads me to my second main point about trust -- my trust has to be developed and even earned over time.

My experience in life, perhaps because I was a reporter for a long time, is that it is best that we make explicit to friends and acquaintances when we are sharing something that we don't want repeated elsewhere. They cannot mind-read.

In all honesty, however, I find the best person in whom to confide, if I want to trust, is a therapist who has a legal obligation not to yammer. I don't whether that is cynical or realistic, but it is my experience in life.

A boss who said, "Teaching and research are excellent" six weeks later wrote a letter that cost me my job and years of joblessness.

A Beloved who said, "I'll never leave you" drove off one day and never returned, without letting me know that was the game plan.

I make so many mistakes that I can't even trust myself. Trust is in short supply for me, I fear.

[Rhapsody]

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Fuzzybear said:
If you have trust issues how do they manifest online?



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Once broken..... I will not give it back.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you all xo
Fuzzy