Help needed with literature on self-esteem related problems:

Hi all,

Sorry for the long post, I hope you will be willing to read it.

Maybe first I will describe my problems: I am a self-conscious, shy and introverted person, with a low self-regard/confidence struggling with interpersonal relations especially at a "middle level". By this I mean relations with acquaintances and also colleagues that are in the middle between the neighbour I only say hello to and the closest friends parts of the spectrum. I particularly struggle with maintaining eye contact and look on the floor when speaking to people. My problems are moderate so not too severe but still hold me back in life and do not allow self-fulfillment.

I am looking for your help with finding a tried and tested book or a CD which would help me with each of these problems in turn (as you can see from my opening sentence there are many sub-problems). I am happy as an introvert but need to learn how to relate to people better. I have heard of e.g. books which show how to be happy as an introvert in an extroverted world but don't know which one is a particularly appealing one (not trying to overly describe introvertism and its problems or change it but teach how to cope with relations).

I am open to any methods that would help including NLP, using imagination etc. I have a degree in psychology therefore would have no problem with looking into books/manuals for psychotherapists where the authors teach how to approach clients and how to help them (essentially the book for the other side of the therapeutic relationship which can be very useful). I am also open to even a book of techniques to use (e.g. when speaking to a person focus your attention on them and not on yourself/your body etc.) or non-cheesy (aka deeper) list of topics that people would appreciate talking about and how to relate to people more generally. Non-cheesy affirmations about the self-image I am hoping for would also be appreciated.

It doesn't have to be one book/CD it will probably be many or even only chapters of books might be useful for specific issues but I am looking for publications that helped deep and thoughtful people.

If possible I would like the books to be:

-targeted and in-depth (each of the problems mentioned) -it's all linked but still they might have a focus
-evidence-based (in what they recommend) -for credibility
-with evidence presented (i.e. research has shown that ppl who ... enjoy more of ... / the brain can not see the difference between sensation and vivid imagination of the same sensation therefore ...)
-from a credible author who is either a practitioner with experience or been there done that
-explain the potential mechanisms behind: it works by / when you imagine in vivid colours it is more powerful because you engage more neurons etc.
-book with CD for techniques if possible, if it is to be a CD alone not to be cheesy or overly hyper-enthusiastic but authentic and not New Age but pure psychology
-not cheesy but meaningful
-some additional books may be highly contextual e.g. focusing on work/relationship etc.

Off course if some books meet only some of the criteria or are best for say evidence/understanding please still mention it. If there is more than one good book per topic (I hope it will be) you can order them in a list.

Sorry for the long post and a long list of things to consider but if you have experience with/of my problems and are knowledgeable I am hoping you would be able to point me in the direction of the solutions to my problems.

Kindest regards,

Laura

hi laura
sorry, i dont have any ideas what books can help you with your specific issue but i notice this is your first post and i wanted to welcome you. i know what i did to raise my self esteem that was really successful but it didnt come from a book and is far from evidence based so i am uncertain if you would want me to share it. if you want to know, after three posts, you can click on my name and send me a private message and i would be happy to share. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where we can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hi Kaliope and everyone,

Thank you very much for such a warm welcome and an offer to share your experiences! It's greatly appreciated.

Atm I'm thinking of going down the self-help/therapy books (as I thinkt they might provide me with a comprehensive approach) but really need to find good ones not to get discouraged with this approach and burn one of the routes to a better life.

I have done some digging myself but found a lot of cheesy and un-authentic ones, that's why I have asked others for help with choosing the best titles.

As you can see I have multiple issues so I expect there will be definitely more than one book.

I hope there might be someone who has some knowwledge of good books/CD which I could try to use and will be willing to point me in the right direction.

Kindest regards,

Laura

THENOX, besides books there are also articles here at Psych Central that can help with specific issues or even setting up guidelines for healing.

Search box the topic you have on your mind here
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

I'd suggest looking through the business section of the bookstore, tbh.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

Hi healingme4me,

Thanks for your suggestion. Unfortunately, I am not looking for only a business related cure/application of confidence (and all my other problems) although my problems also hold me back in my job therefore as a sideline if there is a good book applied to this context it would also be appreciated. I am looking mainly for books that can help me to reframe my thinking in all life situations.

If anyone could recommend any book that they found useful I would greatly appreciate it.

Could anyone possibly help me by offering some suggestions?

Big thank you in advance.

Laura

May I ask anyone who could help to offer some suggestions to help me?

Thank you,

Laura