Poor self-image here...

Reading the recent post of what a woman should look like, and pondering my own condition...I admit I have a poor self-image right now. Having gained too much weight it is the major cause for this...the result primarily of secluding myself and feeling humiliated from the last attempt I did in a relationship. I realize this is my own way of assuring that I will not meet men in the future! I've literalily "padded" myself up against further hurt and chaos!
At the same time, I can visualize myself thin and attractive, which I could still be, even at my age. But if I ever achieve this again, it will not be for some man!
Can any of you identify!?
Patty

Patty,

I am right there with you! The past few years of Depakote and Zyprexa (as well as disability) have packed on the pounds for me. I don't color my hair as often, my clothes are just way too big, and I don't feel worth looking at....

Dee

I am not fat and really not overweight, but I've gained a few pounds and the weight has, ahem, redistributed itself. Gray hair, sagging jowels. No, I don't feel like a babe anymore. It can be hard to adjust -- Even Germaine Greer, feminist icon from the 1970s, had trouble adjusting and wrote about it in a book published during the 70s. Perhaps called The Change -- can't remember.

It's a struggle in humility, that's for sure.

Seeker,
I replied to that post. In retrospect, I probably should have said something to help the person posting. However, I guess it hit a nerve. I am 37 and am having a difficult time "aging gracefully". I desperately want to lose weight but can't seem to do so.

Mybest, Wants, and Soliaree,
First, Soliaree...37 is young! You have a couple of decades ahead of you in which you can still enjoy youthful appearance, so I say, go for it! I know there are many factors contributing to why we let ourselves go, and I remember doing so even at your age, but having youth is a great advantage when it comes to rejuvinating your appearance.
Wants and Mybest...For me, I don' t mind the wrinkles and sags, and liken it to the "Velveteen Rabbit." Both of you sound way ahead of me in terms of appearance, and weight issues. I know what I need to do to lose the damn weight, but lack the motivation. I kinda like my life as it is, but I sure would like to be thin!
Love
Patty

Over the last year I have lost 30 lbs--I needed to lose it. I have found that my self image has not really improved that much. Yes, I feel a little bit better, but I think my poor self image has deeper roots.

Hi Seeker,
I'm sorry the extra weight you've gained is making you feel so bad about yourself. Remember, you are getting older so it is harder to lose the weight. But what I find when I'm trying to diet and making myself crazy by trying to lose weight is-the more I tried, it seemed the more things kept fluctuating.
I chalked my weight up to getting old and forgot about it. So what if I have a little chunkiness on my stomache-I'll soon have wrinkles and age spots, too-big deal. I went on my merry little way and about 2 weeks later, I'm undressed to shower, there's a full legnth mirror in my bathroom-I look at myself and see I don't have the chunkies anymore. I'm like "wow?" and I hop on the scale. I've lost 10 pounds without even trying. So, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe the less pressure you put on yourself the less you'll have reasons to fail so the less you stress out about it.
((((((((Seeker)))))))))) Accept yourself as you are if what you're worried about is not hurting you.

Yikes this sounds so much like me! I have a good hubby but as far as close "friends" are concerned I have mostly given up on That in "real life".... I have been hurt too MUCH! And it sucks! And when I look in the mirror I see a BEAR instead of a woman. And its all their fault! Rant over.

(((((((((((( Patty ))))))))))))

A padded bear attempting to stay away from further as you said Hurt and Chaos.

And I dont know about the other post but there is NO such thing as what a woman Should look like. That word Should be abolosihed IMNSHO

I meant Abolished.

xo