My self esteem right now is really low. I don't feel good about myself at all. I don't like aspects of myself, and I see behaviors in myself that I don't like. Last night someone told me I was annoying them, and that hurt. I am so sensitive, and I felt like he doesn't like me.

I've heard that this person thinks I am all "drama", and I wonder if I am. I have certainly been involved in or have attracted drama over the years, but I try to steer clear of it even though I will speak my mind with people. So I told this person what i had heard, and he got annoyed with me and told me so.

Maybe I just don't belong on this planet anymore. I want to just die and hide away from the world, curl up in a ball and never come out.

And I have a big interview Tuesday with ten people and have no idea how to even prepare or how I will ever get through it. I feel overwhelmed by it and wish I could cancel or reschedule it. I wish I had more confidence in my abilities, but I am also struggling in my career right now. I have a hard job and it's really complex. I don't know how I will get through this interview or pretend that I am confident when I'm not. I need help....

[Tazwert]

It is difficult. It take mental activity to feel better about yourself, thus it takes away time from interview prep. However, if you think about the work of refocusing your self-esteem to the positive as part of the interview prep, then it could help.

Best of luck with the interview.

Originally Posted by Tazwert

It is difficult. It take mental activity to feel better about yourself, thus it takes away time from interview prep. However, if you think about the work of refocusing your self-esteem to the positive as part of the interview prep, then it could help.

Best of luck with the interview.

Thank you... that's good advice and helps.... I just wish I didn't feel so crappy about myself right now. I think that the world would be better off without me in it.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Awwwww, thank you Fuzzybear. That's really sweet.

[sans]

Hi Golden Eve,
I understand your feelings. Good news: You can change the way you feel about yourself. Not so good news: It takes alot of work and doesn't happen instantly.
But, you are worth it, so no better time to get started.
Read positive, inspirational things. Say affirmations to yourself. I know it sounds cheesy, but it works. It really counteracts the negative self talk we are programmed with.
When I am really in a self-loathing mood, I can help myself by looking at all that I have that is good. No matter how bad we have it, there is always someone worse off. I try to visualize someone who has it rough, but makes a good life out of it. Netflix has several documentaries, one is called Happy. It reminds me to be thankful for what I have, and appreciate instead of complain.
Also, no one is perfect. We all have bad days. Give yourself a break, and try to learn from the behaviors that you want to change. It's a process. Maybe start journaling with some goals in mind. Be kind to yourself, and soon you will see that you are a very lovable person! xo
Sans

Originally Posted by sans

Hi Golden Eve,
I understand your feelings. Good news: You can change the way you feel about yourself. Not so good news: It takes alot of work and doesn't happen instantly.
But, you are worth it, so no better time to get started.
Read positive, inspirational things. Say affirmations to yourself. I know it sounds cheesy, but it works. It really counteracts the negative self talk we are programmed with.
When I am really in a self-loathing mood, I can help myself by looking at all that I have that is good. No matter how bad we have it, there is always someone worse off. I try to visualize someone who has it rough, but makes a good life out of it. Netflix has several documentaries, one is called Happy. It reminds me to be thankful for what I have, and appreciate instead of complain.
Also, no one is perfect. We all have bad days. Give yourself a break, and try to learn from the behaviors that you want to change. It's a process. Maybe start journaling with some goals in mind. Be kind to yourself, and soon you will see that you are a very lovable person! xo
Sans

thank you so much.. those are all great points and are very helpful. I know I am extra hard on myself. That's because I grew up with overly critical parents, so I internalized that and am my own worst critic.

Funny you mention those documentaries on happiness and gratitude. The irony is I have my own blog about happiness and advise others on ways to be happy and on how to be grateful for what you DO have. And now, I am unhappy and cannot seem to snap out of it. But the cause of that is myself... I am my own worst enemy.

Thing is, I know I have a lot of great qualities that people have pointed out to me.... I think I am focusing too much on all that is wrong with me and am forgetting about all that I do well or right. Recently I had a conflict with a friend and that turned out have disastrous consequences for me. And I am feeling awful because it was (mainly) my own fault.

Sorry for rambling... and thank you.

[mountainstream]

[scarlett35]

I relate to your post so much especially the bit about your parents.

I think the advice is great. It just doesn't happen over night

Hope you feel better soon. Make sure you look after yourself as that is the MOST important thing

Originally Posted by scarlett35

I relate to your post so much especially the bit about your parents.

I think the advice is great. It just doesn't happen over night

Hope you feel better soon. Make sure you look after yourself as that is the MOST important thing

thanks so much. I agree!

[Shazerac]

oh my God...I so hear you. there are times that I feel like I am so unworthy that I literally don't deserve the air I breathe.

The only advice that I have to offer is to keep telling yourself that these are evil lies that the "sick" part of your brain is telling you.

Sharing these feelings with others who understand helps too. Someone who thinks you're a drama queen is not the right person. We love you and understand.

Originally Posted by Shazerac

oh my God...I so hear you. there are times that I feel like I am so unworthy that I literally don't deserve the air I breathe.

The only advice that I have to offer is to keep telling yourself that these are evil lies that the "sick" part of your brain is telling you.

Sharing these feelings with others who understand helps too. Someone who thinks you're a drama queen is not the right person. We love you and understand.

Thank you sooo very much. You are very kind and sweet to say as much! I know I am MUCH to hard on myself and beat myself up over mistakes or when I falter. I shouldn't do this.... I need much greater self-compassion and self-love.... seems you can relate to this. Sending a big hug to you... let's be much kinder to ourselves, right?

[Jen35]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thank you... that's good advice and helps.... I just wish I didn't feel so crappy about myself right now. I think that the world would be better off without me in it.

Well, I'm certainly glad you're in the world! Wonderful to have met you and you've already helped me greatly.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

My self esteem right now is really low. I don't feel good about myself at all. I don't like aspects of myself, and I see behaviors in myself that I don't like. Last night someone told me I was annoying them, and that hurt. I am so sensitive, and I felt like he doesn't like me.

I've heard that this person thinks I am all "drama", and I wonder if I am. I have certainly been involved in or have attracted drama over the years, but I try to steer clear of it even though I will speak my mind with people. So I told this person what i had heard, and he got annoyed with me and told me so.

Maybe I just don't belong on this planet anymore. I want to just die and hide away from the world, curl up in a ball and never come out.

And I have a big interview Tuesday with ten people and have no idea how to even prepare or how I will ever get through it. I feel overwhelmed by it and wish I could cancel or reschedule it. I wish I had more confidence in my abilities, but I am also struggling in my career right now. I have a hard job and it's really complex. I don't know how I will get through this interview or pretend that I am confident when I'm not. I need help....

Please DO NOT cancel your appointment. This an opportunity that is given to you and i hope you can put all the effort to take advantage of this opportunity.

I know how you feel; however as you well know (and we must all accept) that depression brings drama. We want it or not to accept, there is a dramatic jungle in our minds and it our biggest challenge to navigate through life while there is a big dramatic playing in our heads.

As tough as it sounds, people do not want to deal with drama, be it their own or someone else's. It is very difficult.

On the other hand, I find it hurtful and not caring when people tell a depressed person that she is "drama". Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I already know that! So, please try to ignore what that person says. So what if you are drama? Life is dramatic and you already know that.

I think the biggest challenge is to deal with the drama in our heads, which usually benefits others around us.

Originally Posted by golden_eve

My self esteem right now is really low. I don't feel good about myself at all. I don't like aspects of myself, and I see behaviors in myself that I don't like. Last night someone told me I was annoying them, and that hurt. I am so sensitive, and I felt like he doesn't like me.

I've heard that this person thinks I am all "drama", and I wonder if I am. I have certainly been involved in or have attracted drama over the years, but I try to steer clear of it even though I will speak my mind with people. So I told this person what i had heard, and he got annoyed with me and told me so.

Maybe I just don't belong on this planet anymore. I want to just die and hide away from the world, curl up in a ball and never come out.

And I have a big interview Tuesday with ten people and have no idea how to even prepare or how I will ever get through it. I feel overwhelmed by it and wish I could cancel or reschedule it. I wish I had more confidence in my abilities, but I am also struggling in my career right now. I have a hard job and it's really complex. I don't know how I will get through this interview or pretend that I am confident when I'm not. I need help....

That other person who thinks that you're all drama, is not better than you and his or her opinion of you, is just that -- an opinion. And, this person's label of you, is their attempt to marginalize you for some reason. Don't fall into their trap.

If he got annoyed with you b/c you shared information with him about what you overheard, it's because he didn't like what he heard. Ever hear that phrase, "please don't kill the messenger?" Your situation reminds me of that phrase. It's a metaphor for the person blaming the bearer of bad news for the bad news itself, as if the messenger is responsible for said bad news but that's not true at all. Playwrights have been writing plays about the messenger being blamed for bearing bad news for centuries. It's a common trap that people fall into, when they get in the middle. So, easiest solution: let people work out their issues with each other instead of involving you.

The next time a friend comes to you with information about another friend, stay out of it. Don't show any interest in helping this friend solve their problem with your mutual friend. Gossip is a social bonding exercise amongst groups of people but it can also ruin friendships and be used a social tool to manipulate friends who are perceived as naive, gullible or weaker than the manipulator.

Don't stop speaking your mind or being direct. Basically, don't change yourself to constantly please other people or you'll find yourself constantly in a state of exasperation, because you literally can't please everyone all of the time and should stop trying to do that immediately, because it's not your job either. Just be yourself.

If being the middle man, the bearer of good or bad news with others brings you negative results, stop sharing information, i.e. stop gossiping. Third party information is a form of gossip, mal-intended or innocent. The person you share the news with, will always view you as a bad person b/c he/she won't be able to separate you from the news or information you have to share with that person. Stop getting in the middle. Let people figure things out for themselves. Ok?

And keep your job interview. Those golden opportunities are rare and few and far between. If you give into your anxiety now, you will regret it for years to come.

Originally Posted by Jen35

Well, I'm certainly glad you're in the world! Wonderful to have met you and you've already helped me greatly.

Thank you very much! Nice to meet you as well!!!

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Please DO NOT cancel your appointment. This an opportunity that is given to you and i hope you can put all the effort to take advantage of this opportunity.

I know how you feel; however as you well know (and we must all accept) that depression brings drama. We want it or not to accept, there is a dramatic jungle in our minds and it our biggest challenge to navigate through life while there is a big dramatic playing in our heads.

As tough as it sounds, people do not want to deal with drama, be it their own or someone else's. It is very difficult.

On the other hand, I find it hurtful and not caring when people tell a depressed person that she is "drama". Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I already know that! So, please try to ignore what that person says. So what if you are drama? Life is dramatic and you already know that.

I think the biggest challenge is to deal with the drama in our heads, which usually benefits others around us.

Thank you very much for this.

You're right - depression does bring drama, AND life is dramatic already. It just hurt so much when I heard this. I try very hard to be a kind soul to everyone and to be compassionate towards everyone I meet. I will try to ignore this person's words, but they still sting, even today.

Originally Posted by cielpur

That other person who thinks that you're all drama, is not better than you and his or her opinion of you, is just that -- an opinion. And, this person's label of you, is their attempt to marginalize you for some reason. Don't fall into their trap.

If he got annoyed with you b/c you shared information with him about what you overheard, it's because he didn't like what he heard. Ever hear that phrase, "please don't kill the messenger?" Your situation reminds me of that phrase. It's a metaphor for the person blaming the bearer of bad news for the bad news itself, as if the messenger is responsible for said bad news but that's not true at all. Playwrights have been writing plays about the messenger being blamed for bearing bad news for centuries. It's a common trap that people fall into, when they get in the middle. So, easiest solution: let people work out their issues with each other instead of involving you.

The next time a friend comes to you with information about another friend, stay out of it. Don't show any interest in helping this friend solve their problem with your mutual friend. Gossip is a social bonding exercise amongst groups of people but it can also ruin friendships and be used a social tool to manipulate friends who are perceived as naive, gullible or weaker than the manipulator.

Don't stop speaking your mind or being direct. Basically, don't change yourself to constantly please other people or you'll find yourself constantly in a state of exasperation, because you literally can't please everyone all of the time and should stop trying to do that immediately, because it's not your job either. Just be yourself.

If being the middle man, the bearer of good or bad news with others brings you negative results, stop sharing information, i.e. stop gossiping. Third party information is a form of gossip, mal-intended or innocent. The person you share the news with, will always view you as a bad person b/c he/she won't be able to separate you from the news or information you have to share with that person. Stop getting in the middle. Let people figure things out for themselves. Ok?

And keep your job interview. Those golden opportunities are rare and few and far between. If you give into your anxiety now, you will regret it for years to come.

Thank you very much for your insightful input!

It is my abusive ex boyfriend who told me what this friend had said about me. I think he WANTED to bring me down by telling me this!! This same ex -- before we even dated -- told me that no guy will want me because I live with my parents -- another attempt to crush my self-esteem.

This ex boyfriend is toxic. My current boyfriend is right. I should not be friendly with him because he used to emotionally abuse me. We're friendly today because his mom died and he approached me a year after not talking to become friends again. We were good friends for six years before we dated and became very close emotionally before we dated. But he abused me when we were a couple.

I will continue to just be myself. I feel better about myself than when I posted this thread.... like I said above though, that person's words still sting. It doesn't feel good to know that someone out there thinks I'm all "drama". But not everyone is going to like me and I know I have to accept that.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thank you very much for your insightful input!

It is my abusive ex boyfriend who told me what this friend had said about me. I think he WANTED to bring me down by telling me this!! This same ex -- before we even dated -- told me that no guy will want me because I live with my parents -- another attempt to crush my self-esteem.

This ex boyfriend is toxic. My current boyfriend is right. I should not be friendly with him because he used to emotionally abuse me. We're friendly today because his mom died and he approached me a year after not talking to become friends again. We were good friends for six years before we dated and became very close emotionally before we dated. But he abused me when we were a couple.

I will continue to just be myself. I feel better about myself than when I posted this thread.... like I said above though, that person's words still sting. It doesn't feel good to know that someone out there thinks I'm all "drama". But not everyone is going to like me and I know I have to accept that.

I didn’t know that it was your ex-boyfriend who told you that. In that case definitely ignore him. You know you ddeserve a kind and the loving soul

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I didn’t know that it was your ex-boyfriend who told you that. In that case definitely ignore him. You know you ddeserve a kind and the loving soul

Thank you. I will avoid him as best I can.