I don't feel human

Can someone please reassure me that I'm not the strangest creature on this planet? I suffer depression, OCD, anxiety, & Tourette's, & I had 2 strokes @ age 5, & I was @ risk for autism, but it turns out I'm not.

Ever since I learned how to talk, I've always had social issues. Never included, invited, or accepted to social functions. People always feel like I'm not good enough for anything pertaining to competition. There's always someone "better" than me. I received lots of abuse. My family hates me & wishes me dead, & if I ask them why, they try to strangle me to death.

When people see me in their presence, they scream "Ahhh!" & run for their life. I'm 24 (be 25 next month) with a BA college degree in Spanish. I'm disabled. No one wants to help me find a job, not even my Voc. Rehab. counselor.

I don't do anyone anything. People choose ME to pick on for no reason! Nothing I do or say makes sense to anyone. Anything I do or say is the strangest thing they've ever witnessed. I don't even feel human. & I hate when people think I'm paranoid. I'm not.

(((((((((((((otad12))))))))))))))))

Are you receiving help/treatment for the depression etc.?

Do people really run for their lives? I find that a little hard to believe. I think you need to find a better/different voc. rehab. counsellor if your current one won't help you find a job considering that's their job!

Welcome, glad to have you here.

Dear Mr. otad12, based on what you've observed about "humans" I guess I'm just wondering why you'd even want to be one of them...at times they're rude, hurtful, bigoted, judgmental, and lots of other ugly stuff...Groucho Marx said "I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member." he was just kidding right? mental health has a lot to do with our perception's, Groucho Marx WAS the strangest creature on this planet and yet he made it work for him...you have the same choice! many people will tell you that you should find a way to numb your feelings, or that to continue to search for meaning and purpose is for "other people" don't believe it! somewhere there's a place that they desperately need a depressed, ocd man who has touretts etc... especially one who can inspire others by sharing his story of how he "made it work for him!"...what now? take an inventory of your strengths and be consumed with "growing" them, you'll soon begin to see how much happier you are, and perhaps even care to join "our club" under much different terms.

I know that I for one could find many people who would challenge the position you see yourself in as being the strangest person on earth. Honestly, there isn't a person alive that doesn't have their own strange characteristic that wouldn't rate them that position.

Sadly, sometimes a condition we are given to live with from the beginning starts a social preception......however, it's our job to change the way they see us into something positive.....so they see the person we really are. God has made each of us special.......we all have our strengths & weaknesses. What is important for us to do is to work on the strengths & focus on them so that others will see them because that is who we really are. We can't depend on others to see it before we put it before them to see. It is our responsibility to become what God has intended us to be

Most importantly, we need to depend on ourselves to make ourselves what we want to be. You got your degree in Spanish....you must have had that goal for a purpose......now it's your job to find the purpose that you can make use of it.....it's important not to lay the excuses for not succeeding on others......you are the one that has to be happy with your career now that you have your degree...it's your responsibility to find the position that will make you happy & will give you that sense of success that a college degree should provide.....no one else can determine what that position might be.....that is something you need to find for yourself....mostly because if you do it yourself.....then you are the successful one.....you can give yourself the credit for succeeding & finding the path that God has meant for you.

Being a success story makes us feel so much more valuable than if we depend on someone else to hand us our way in life........when we feel that success & know that it belongs to us.....we then can be proud of what we have accomplished & then others see us in a much different light...they look at us with respect which is something that is earned, not handed to us.

I hope your future ends up with your success, rather than piled up excuses because of how others have treated you.......success stories come from within.

I pray you will find your way in the future,
Debbie