The positive side of low self-esteem...?

Since I've struggled with low self-esteem since early childhood, and done a lot of work to overcome it, I've noticed something about people. I teach school also, middle school grades. With both the adolescents as well as my peers, I've noticed that people who have never had this struggle, often seem to lack empathy, or even concern for others. I don't mean to make a blanket statement about this, but I truly have observed this so much. On the one hand, I have often wished I had never had to struggle with this, but on the other hand, I've worked very hard, educating myself as to the reasons for it. I see a lot of kids being raised to think only of themselves...adults too!
Maybe I'm not expressing this very well, but my struggle to overcome low self-esteem has been one of introspection and hard work, in which I think I've achieved a balance that includes empathy, fairness, and caring for others. It feels to me, though maybe I'm mistaken, that many people lack this quality.
Patty

I agree with your observations, though I don't know why some people develop empathy and others only hate and fear! Empathy may be a positive attribute but it isn't always an easy one to maintain.

Good point! I think that some are born with empathy and others can go on to develop it. Some do neither........ Those who are born with it keep it no matter what the upbringing. Those who aren't necessarily born with it can develop it in a caring environment maybe. Those who weren't born with it and are in a bad environment are those with the hate and fear?

Good thread topic too!

I guess what goes along with this Pachy and what you were probably thinking? was that there are people with low self worth who are very harmful too?

Yes, Patty, working on these things certainly brings a depth of understanding not only of ourselves but of others.......

Patty, have you ever noticed how taking an interest in these folks without too much empathy can make them notice things that they haven't noticed before? It is like the caring is infectious or something?

Sannah, Yes, well, to a degree that showing interest and empathy to people who lack it does seem to make an impact on them, maybe.
In dealing with adolescents, this can be modeled by the adults, discussed in "developmental guidance" classes, etc.
Thanks, both of you for the responses...very interesting!
Patty

((Seeker))))) being kind towards others never goes out of style you are very conscious and considerate of others imo and thank you for taking the time to think about its importance for the rest of us

(((Nowhere)))...Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
I am still thinking about how having low self-esteem could have evolved to my equating it with empathy toward others. The is indeed how I evolved, but I realize this is not necessarily an end result for all.
Patty

For me, I believe i learned empathy from my mother. I think it's true that some people just don't aquire this skill. I've actually stopped to think and I've realised...I'm different and everyone is different. I guess I always thought that everyone felt empathy and that everyone knew what I was tlaking about when i felt sorry for a friend or had a dislike for mean things on t.v. I guess it's the burden we empathetic people must deal with...it is our responsibility to care and understand others' pain. I can't imagine living in a world of fear. To just get back at people all my life and not care at all for someone who is grieving. I dunno...all this thinking is getting me depressed and realising how tough our world is to live in

thinking can really depress us if we are not careful and considerate to ourselves when we allow our minds to think on the sadder themes of life such as harm and pain...

we can do several things to help ourselves cope with these thoughts but to face them head on by someone is needed and very necessary.. maybe that is the empaths burden? praying all will remain safe as they take time to observe such very serious matters and remember to be as kind to ourselves as we would choose to be treated by others... it is truly a long and painful process but having this outlet of sharing with others has helped us in many ways i believe...

Seeker... empaths are highly sensitive right? we must learn our skill in time? many are lost in the process and that is very hard to think about but it is bravery of souls like you who inspire... still sending kind thoughts your way

In my experience, it is the struggle to survive any hardship that results in empathetic, sympathetic, and compassionate views. Wether it be struggling with three kids, a full time job, and getting a Master's degree (I love you Mom!), or the more personal struggle with a life of self doubt.

Those that never experienced the darker, harder side of life can come to understand another's troubles, but simply cannot relate to that person in any way to be truely empathetic.

I don't hold them accountable for their lives. In an ideal world none of us would suffer at all. I do feel like they might all have some other forms of personal struggle, but they aren't familiar enough with what it feels like to really express it or deal with it, or even be aware of it.

This is why compassion is critical. Everyone everywhere is suffering something, regardless of how significant we perceive it to be. When they demonstrate a lac of empathy, we have to remember that they have their own private struggle of some kind. It might be that their "weakness" is just their limited capacity to fully relate to others who are unlike them. If we have compassion in our hearts, we can forgive their callous behaviour, and help them toward a higher understanding of the wide range of difficulties many people face.

My $0.02,

PC