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#1
May 15, 2009, 11:38 PM
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way back in time when i was twelve...right after my parents made me watch my pet horse being auctioned off to the highest bidder, they said i needed to socialize with my own peer group. So i was sent on a month long preteen trip. I was quiet and shy but my body was well developed as an adults and my mother never had a talk with me about boys. This chaperone was not trained right because most nights the girls and boys slept in our sleeping bags...male and female in the same room. I was to ashamed to say anything when boys hands started fumbling around in my sleeping bag. Word sure got around fast too...i heard whispered words behind my back...slut, *****. Some of the girls liked some of the guys who were touching me...i wish those boys would have left me alone. When i got home from the trip, everyone got a trip roster with all the kids telephone numbers on it. One night i got calls from 4 different boys...no girls. I can remember boys making out with girls on the bus...after that i never wanted 2 socialize!
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#2
May 16, 2009, 10:30 AM
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((((NF))))) I'm sorry that horrible experience happened to you.
 Did you ever tell your parents about it? Or did you ever talk to a therapist about it? You didn't deserve to have something like that happen to you.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
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#3
May 16, 2009, 01:01 PM
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i did not talk to anyone about this until i got on here. I got into trouble when i got home because the boys from the trip would call me. I guess they figured i did something to cause my new "social popularity"... :-( the chaperone had 2 have known with all the talk going around...my guess was that she did not have the courage, skill or empathy to do her job. one of the guys on the trip is a cousin to my childhood best friend. I wrote him about what i remember happening. His attitude about it was that it was normal teenage behavior...teens not knowing what they were doing just exploring. Taking this into consideration, he must have blocked all the other guys actions out...ego perhaps. Said these things happened on later trips he had been on...there must have been an awful lot of negligent chaperones. Anyway, i am starting to deal with this. Told him i was gay...get this...several guys have approach him sexually and he shared his trauma with me...karma maybe?
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#4
May 16, 2009, 02:34 PM
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The biggest message that I can see that you got from this is that you cannot protect yourself and say no. Have you dealt with this?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#5
May 16, 2009, 05:00 PM
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yes i can. I smiled when i read your post...my family was emotionally abusive as well, translation, i am on my own. But wait...maybe something unconvention...uncle sam actually paid me to learn hand to hand combat skills! Did you know these skills not only work on enemy combatants, but they also work on drunk men who grab breasts and ex lovers who cannot hear the word no until my heel connects with their knee cap. :-D i do not condone violence, hence i left uncle sam...but know one will ever touch me again unless i want them to. As far as that trip as a teenager, i'll be getting some therapy...from uncle sam. Hmmm...you know, uncle sam has been very good to me (laughter)! I just couldn't tell him i was a lesbian or he would haved dumped me if someone asked or had i told. You can thank former prez clinton for that rule...said it was immoral conduct of a us soldier. Musta came up with that before he started having "inappropriate relations". i am rambling...sorry! but thanks!
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#6
May 18, 2009, 01:17 PM
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So I guess you did deal with this.....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
May 18, 2009, 04:34 PM
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yep...the memory resurfaced while reading memoirs of a geisha of all things. I am over it now, but still would have preferred the company of my horse to those boys... :-D
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#8
May 19, 2009, 10:32 AM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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