[bluesky]

Hi,
I was stalked and harassed for years and had to move house recently.
I thought moving would solve the problem but one family member
who was also stalked since 15 years old has PTSD and is now diagnosed with depression. Obviously moving wasnt a quick fix and we
should have moved sooner. I feel depressed because as the parent
I should have realised what an awful effect this creep who we
had never socialised with has had on our lives. The system let
us down (courts, police etc - hard to prove what was going on
in court - needed independent witnesses and videos etc). How do I help my young family member
get her life back? The doctor has prescribed anti-depressants for
her and wants her to go to counselling. Life is not fair. There are so many evil people out there. The
man who targeted us lied about all the things he was doing to us
and he got away with it. I think he wanted access to my daughter
(he asked me to send her to his home when he moved in near us) and I said no. Now I think a lot of this was payback because I stood between
him and my daughter. Or was he just jealous that we had a happy
family and he wanted to destroy us?
This went on for years. The police said it could be evil intent.
His wife was in on it too. They destroyed my daughters feeling
of safety in our own home and her studies at Uni are all messed up.
I wonder if life will ever be the same again. I now mistrust most
people, especially middle aged men.
Bluesky

[Peanut61]

This sounds like it has been a nightmare for you, Bluesky. I'm so sorry. Warmest regards.

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[heidu]

I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to have someone invade your life like that.
I hope things start looking better for you and your family.
Hugs,
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

[bluesky]

Hi,
Thanks for the kind words.
I just wondered if the doctor is right and if clinical depression
can get so bad that people can end up depressed for
12 to 18 months and can end up in hospital.
I didnt know that long term stress and depression can actually
change the chemicals in the brain so depression becomes
a physical illness. I guess I never thought of it that way.
I was against medication (I am not a pills will fix everything person)
but from what I was told not doing anything now can mean things
get worse in the future for the person sufferring the depression
may end up in hospital. This truly is a nasty illness.
(Counselling and medication are recommended)
Bluesky

[heidu]

Bluesky,
Counseling is a must because we don't know how to deal with some things life throws at us and a qualified person can give us understanding and help in finding ways to cope with the past, deal with the present and improve the future. I fully believe in counseling.

I understand your feelings about meds. Depression is a nasty illness and it can take control whether we want to let it or not. It can become very severe and you can't just wake up and decide not to be depressed and it's gone. Don't I wish, don't we all.

I was very against taking meds myself and didn't for a long time. Finally I decided that I needed something because I was no longer functioning and didn't see any future for myself. I started taking an antidepressant, low dosage and did that for I guess about 7 months. It helped alot. At the time I wasn't doing anything, going anywhere, being around people was complete stress and I hated myself and what I had become. Taking the meds didn't make everything go away, I still had to work really hard to get myself back up but they did help by taking the edge off. I was able to think more clearly and less emotionally. I was able to deal with some things that needed to be dealt with.

I did decide at one point to stop taking them and weaned myself off. I knew that life would still be hard but I was able to focus enough at that point to carry on and find my way. I have been off the meds for months now and although things can be really tough I can deal with it. The only difference I notice after being off them now is that my anxiety can be a little higher and sometimes I feel a little more down. I have considered starting them again because with the change of seasons and life stresses I feel like I should be keeping it together a little better. I'll just see how things go.

I do know that because of my personal efforts to make changes in my life and because of personal strength I will not need to use them for the rest of my life. They aren't a cure all but they do help a great deal.

Are you talking about taking meds and counseling for yourself or some family too?

Wish you the best.
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

[bluesky]

Hi Heidu,

It is my daughter who has been prescribed the counselling and
meds. She is already taking one lot of medication for a chronic pain
condition (TMJ joint pain which I believe the stalking contributed to
- TMJ pain can be aggravated by grinding ones teeth in ones sleep).
I can see the symptoms you describe in her, not being able to cope
or being unable to study etc and tuning out. The family doctor
(a lady) has said she has watched the deterioration and if I don't
support the taking of the medication etc the depression could worsen
into something really serious. I asked a lot of questions because I didnt
understand depression could become a physical thing. Like you implied,
its not something one can will to go away. It seems to become
chronic. I took the quiz myself and came up midly depressed but I think
I will be alright without medication myself. I gues what concerns me is
my daughter is only in her early 20's and I thought taking meds at that
age was not a good idea but I guess depression has no
age limits. The doctor seemed to think some people are more predisposed to getting depression as a result of trauma than others
(we are all individuals and cope in different ways). But as you implied,
it is not an illness anyone would wish to have. I will look into the
counselling ASAP as this seems to be very important as well as the
meds. I suppose this will all take quite a long time to settle down but
that is life and at least there is some hope if she tries hard and I am
there to support her. Thanks again for your input. I just didn't realise how
serious the depression and such can get and how long it can take to
deal with. It is something a person has to work through themselves
so I guess everyones road through depression must be a different experience based on the individual's problem, experiences, issues etc
Bluesky

[heidu]

Glad if I helped a little. She is young and she can spring back and she is lucky to have the love and support of her mom to get her thru.
Take care,
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin