[wisewoman]

I have wondered where to place this. Seems there is no right place. I am struggling with all three kids about different issues. The oldest is health. No cancer we found but a chronic uncomfortable condition non the less that docs admittedly know very little about. I can't protect him and he screams at me about his pain and his hardship. Maybe I should rejoice that he can be open with me like that. I just fel sad. I wanted my kids to be happy. Then there is the 17, almost 18 year old who we adopted. She is very clear that she wants to move out with a boyfriend who is younger, immature, and verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive. We are filing for guardianship. But she lies and sneaks around and is so very angry with us. She says she wants to come visit but she doesn't want to be here. What a waste of all of these years. My youngest has ocd and was molested as a youngster. She swallowed poison and drank soap and scrubbed her body raw the other night and I had phone and pager problems. She had sexual feelings. She called 911 when she couldn't get us. second time in 2 months. She is hurting and there is no way that I can tell her that sexual feelings and masturbation are quite normal. There is pain all around me. So I want to escape, run away. No suicidal posts please. Just run away.

(((((((Wisewoman)))))))

There are no words of comfort I can offer, just know I am listening and sending positive vibes your way.

Petunia

(((((((((((Wisewoman)))))))))
being a parent is the hardest job on earth. the hardest i've ever had. you are caring and compassionate and love your kids--that's obvious. perhaps a break is what you need. can you take a day off and just go someplace for yourself?? i like to get lost in a bookstore with a coffee shop. or sometimes just go to a quiet place and listen to nothing. take the time for yourself--you will be no good for your kids if you don't.
white iris

[jmo531]

I agree with Iris. Often time I ignore my own needs for the sake of the children which is normal for parents, I beleive. However, every once in a while we need time for ourself. To relect and to relax. Time to get lost in ourself. Maybe that is something you should do for yourself.

I am sorry you having such problems with the children. I know how tough that can be. How about a book that could help your youngest so that they will know that the feelings they are having is normal. Just a thought. I am wishing you peace and serenity.

Jen

[wisewoman]

Yes my friends I want peace. As for the youngest, her head and heart are not matching. She knows in a smart kind of way that we are sexual beings but the molestation and the ocd take over and she harms herself. I did go hang out with a friend for a while today. We went to this second hand shop and I found 2 bags of playmobil for 75 cents each. On ebay it would be 60 dollars easily. I was thinking that I would give it to some little girls whose birthdays are approaching but my youngest got hold of it and she is having fun with all of her own and now this new stuff. It is collectible. I had fun with my friend. Breaks are good. I want a few days away. I would love to camp without them, phones, pager, or hubby. Thanks for the support.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((ww))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) i'm so sorry. more than anything we want as parents (or should) health and peace for our children. i hope healing, and lots of it, comes y'all's way soon.

are the children in therapy? peace, healing wishes to you.

kd

[wisewoman]

I am responding to myself. I feel very down and hopeless and there is no light, just more pain and work. It is not any fun being here. Kids? Wouldn't they have been better off born to someone else? I have not protected or given them a good life and all I want right now is peace.

Oh WW--- my heart goes out to you

At a very low place myself right now--- your feelings resonate with me so much. I'm so sorry you are feeling as though your kids would have been better without you..... not trying to equate here, but I've whispered the same thing to myself for the last 5 years or so.

It hurts so much when things aren't the way we had meant for them to be. I'm so sorry you are feeling bad-- I do though, think it's very smart of you to reach out to us here. I admire you for that.

Hope you know there are many here that think you are wonderful and many reading this that can relate in some way to what you are going through right now.

Please know we are here and we care.

Mandy

[wisewoman]

Thanks for the caring and the peaceful wishes.