[AShadow721]

Since this is about nude pictures, I'm gonna use the trigger icon.

First, when my son was just born, my sister took a bunch of pictures some of which included his boy parts. She took all these while I was still being taken care of by the doctors and nurses after his birth and so I did not know and could not stop her. I didn't see them until after I got home from the hospital, and saw the ones she had uploaded onto the computer. She put some of these pictures on her Facebook page. One of them is quite disturbing, since my grandmother is peeking at him through the window with a big smile on her face.

Second, my sister took pictures of my son taking his first real bath. I didn't mind so much, it was a milestone in his life, but his boy parts were also in some of the pictures she took. What made me the most angry was that I wanted to give him the bath in the bathroom, but my family wanted me to give him a bath in the kitchen and make it a whole family event. My father and grandparents were also there. I made a big deal about it. I didn't want everyone looking at him naked. Especially my weird grandmother. I told them I wanted him to have privacy. My father said "He's a baby, he doesn't need privacy!" They kept insisting and I gave up. Of course, my grandmother had to stand right in front and watch the whole thing.

Then, when my son was about 5 or 6 weeks old, my sister and her photography partner came up to do a photo shoot of my son. My sister and her friend are part-time professional photographers and did this for me for free. They mostly do weddings though. Well, they wanted to take pictures of him naked lying on his stomach. I really didn't want them to do that at all. I didn't think it was appropriate and I didn't like that other people have pictures taken of their babies like that. But my sister is so pushy and I'm kind of a push over, especially then when I had postpartum depression. I let them take the pictures that way. But then they wanted me to hold him. My grandma asked her if you could see everything in the pictures she was taking and she said that she had the camera zoomed in so that you could not see his boy parts. But I still tried to not let them show.

Well, afterward, my grandmother picked out the pictures that she wanted and ordered them to be printed. I didn't see all these pictures they had taken. My sister came up back up a few weeks later with the pictures she had order. I looked at these pictures with my grandmother after she gave them to her. One of the pictures had a full view of his boy parts!!!!! GRRRRR!! She told me, "He's not going to like this when he gets older". I thought to myself, I don't like it at all now!!! I told her, "Put a sticker over it." Well, then I find out my sister's photography partner has this picture on her photography website, and it has a button on there it order the pictures. So anyone in the world could possibly have this picture.

My mother has also told me that my grandmother has a picture of my father like this.

What the heck can I do about this all? If I report my grandmother for having these picture, I would have to also report my sister and her photography partner for taking them. I don't want trouble with my sister, she holds grudges pretty well. I figure I could report the pictures she has on her Facebook. But then she'll probably get upset and feel bad about it. Anyway, since I'm in this one picture, the police may say that I allowed it to be taken. But I was told it was zoomed in enough so that it can't be seen.

Is it just me that thinks this is wrong??? What is wrong with these people that they think these pictures are okay to take of babies and young children?

Well, for babies I think it's okay, but not for toddlers/young children/any child really. But, that's just my opinion. (for my brother at least in all of his baby pictures there was almost always some sort of "carefully placed object" that would block the view, with maybe 2 exceptions, and I don't have any pictures of my as a baby that don't involve clothing)

But in the end he is your son and if you don't want to take nude pictures with his parts showing then that is your decision- not anyone else's and they should respect that.

[jennaorgana]

i have a ton of photos of me naked as a child, but they are all "butt-shots," nothing of my "girl parts." which are internal, so i don't think that is as bad as "boy parts" which are EXternal.

its up to the parent, but if you are uncomfortable, now that you feel more level-headed, you should say something.

[jennaorgana]

google naked baby photography and look at the photos. THAT is what is appropriate. or at least that is what GOOGLE thinks is appropriate, lol.

[AShadow721]

Okay, I went through 30 pages of pictures on google and did not see one baby boy private part. So therefore, these pictures are not appropriate for google's standards. Either way, the even bigger issue is that my grandmother is weird and pedophile-ish. And it makes me very uncomfortable and angry that she has this picture. Like, who knows what she's doing with it? Also there are pedophiles on the internet that could see them these pictures.

I can understand making a mistake of not placing an object in front of the child back in the old day when people didn't have digital cameras so they couldn't see the picture they took before they printed it. But deliberately taking the picture without the parent's permission, posting it on the internet without the parent's permission and deliberately choosing to have it printed so that you can put it up in a frame without the parent's permission, that I don't understand.

[Bill3]

But my sister is so pushy and I'm kind of a push over

It sounds like you'll need to stop being a pushover for your sister. You are the mother: allow no more such pictures, or anything else that makes you uncomfortable for your son, no matter what other family members say.

she holds grudges pretty well

This is a form of emotional blackmail. Basically, a temper tantrum.

Which is more important to you: keeping your sister out of a grudge or protecting your son? Because: I am guessing that, sooner or later, you are going to have to choose.

Be ready, and be strong.

[AShadow721]

Thank you Bill, I understand what you are saying. She has held a grudge against me in the past, which caused me a lot of pain. Yes my sister does have a temper and you described that so well. But I know my son is so much more important. I know I'm going to have to choose sooner or later. She's just as hard to stand up to as my father and grandmother are. They're very intimidating. There are several times I should have said something to her, but was too scared to. I mean, I couldn't even open my mouth. But I do have to protect my son. The best way I have done so so far was to hide, keep him away from those kinds of people, or one time by calling the police. I have to find the courage and be strong myself.

[Bill3]

Do you have a T? Perhaps some therapy in the area of assertiveness would be a good idea.

I googled assertiveness training, here are two of the many hits:

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...pe=doc&id=9778

http://stress.about.com/od/relations...owtoassert.htm

There are also books at amazon that you could buy or get from the library.

I agree with you:

I have to find the courage and be strong myself.

Do make enhancing your assertiveness a priority. If there is another incident in which you feel that you should have handled things differently, take heart. Think it over, know what you should have done better, and try again.

Be gentle with yourself: it sounds like you have experienced years of intimidation from your grandmother, father, and sister. It will take time to get to where you want to be.

Be like water: work steadily at assertiveness, day by day, and gradually you will reshape things.

I have confidence in you: I know that you can do it, and both you and your son will be the better off for it.

[amante]

You are the Mom to your precious baby boy, I would tell your sister to take down the photos of him on Facebook, and tell your Gmother to give you back any photos that has his private parts on them. It's your baby and you have to do what is right in your mind. If Sister and Grandmother don't understand or care, OH WELL> No one should have naked photos of your son but YOU and his Daddy.

Wishing the best for you and your son, AShadow.

[jahrderglad]

I personally see nothing wrong with naked baby pictures; my grandma has plenty of me in the bath in my baby albums. Child nudity, in my view, is only a problem when it's sexualised, and if someone sees a photo of a baby in a sexual light there is clearly something wrong with that particular viewer. That said, I think naked baby photos should be a private thing, only for close family and friends to see. Thus, posting them on facebook is probably not the best of ideas.

Regardless of my opinion, your family members are in the wrong because it's your baby and they MUST respect the mother's wishes. How you choose to raise your child, including what photos exist of him, are YOUR choice and no one else's, and it's really wrong of them not to respect your wishes on the matter. It seems rather disrespectful, to me. But considering what you've said about the family members in question, it seems telling them that would do little good; they may not listen to you anyway, unfortunately. But you've every right to be upset about it!

I'm pretty sure that if you report a photo on facebook, the poster of the photo won't find out who reported it; it'll just be taken down. Yes, I just double-checked with Facebook's Terms of Service, and reporting photos IS in fact completely anonymous. Maybe give that a try? And if it's not taken down or she just decides to repost it, report it again, I guess. Even if she thinks it might have been you, she'll have no proof; it could have been anyone on her friends list. Best of luck!