Is this my punishment?????

Well in November last year we finally put a stop to the abuse/ threat of abuse that we lived in.

since then things just seem to go from bad to worse and with no help to pay the mortgage for the kids we are now at the final stage of having our house repossessed. On monady it will go to court and the judge will give us 28 days to vacate the property and it doesnt seem to matter that me and the kids have no where to go.

so should l have stayed even though the emotional scars are massive, should l have just allowed it to carry on the way l have for many years??

l dont get it all when does the abuse really stop.

l have been to see my pnurse/doc, the court welfare officer and l have battled with the mortgage company since Nov to get them to a payment that l can afford even if it meant extending the terms all with no success. I keep hearing that they have to help but you know what it seems that NO they dont NOT have to help. The mortgage company will take the house , only get part of their money back and then l will still owe them what ever is left

l live in a crazy country and yesterday the welfare officer told me that as l am not paying then l am making myself homeless on purpose so do not qualify for any help from the local council to be rehomed

the world its seems has gone completely mad!!!!!!!!!! so now me and my children face homelessness in 28 days.............maybe l should ust have stayed in the abuse.............when does it end???????????

Thank you for your beautiful pictures.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm somewhat homeless at the moment. I'm staying at my father's old home (my abuser). He's trying to sell it, he's had problems with his mortgage. Someone already came and looked at the house and took pictures like two months ago. He decided to stop paying for anything since his girlfriend gave him the key to her house about 8 months ago, even though I paid him rent, he just took that for himself. So, I've been trying to get into public housing for a year and hopefully after this appointment next week something will happen.

This is not punishment, it's just an obstacle. They come out of nowhere in our lives to make us able to appreciate our blessings.... When we're faced with these kinds of situations and we have kids to take care of, and we're their only caretakers, we can feel like the whole world is against us. Sometimes I wondered, maybe I should have stayed with my kidnapper, at least I'd have a place to stay, maybe a meal once a day, wouldn't have to worry about money....No, there's no way I could have had my son there...No place for my son to be....You should not have stayed with your abuser! Think about your kids, you all are so much better off in poverty than staying with an abuser. Your kids will thank you one day.

I know that things will turn out for us, because there are people that do care. There's at least one person in this world, that would never allow us to be on the street. But even so, if you do go to a shelter, you will be taken care of and they could get you into housing fast. I know it's scary, but that's only because it's unformaliar. Being with the abuser was formaliar and that's why you think it would be more comfortable. You're a good mother. You're protecting your kids. Don't worry, somehow things will work out. You can go to a church for help, you could call a helpline. There are places that can help you pay your bills or rent when you can't. The one in my city is called the community center. There's so many resources out there that can help you, but you have to search for them. You can get so far once you realize that the limitations are only in your mind. Good luck to you and keep your head up, "things are gonna get easier".

SAS, I'm so sorry. I really liked Ashadow's post a lot. Please keep us posted as to what you are doing and how you are doing?

((((((((((((((((( S A S ))))))))))))))))))))))))

No sweetheart, this is not punishment at all. This is life, pure and simple, the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this and that people are not "seeing" beyond their noses. Is it possible to have your pnurse/doc or T help you with letters to the housing and to the judge about your situation? I know that when I'm in a very difficult situation, I am not able to speak well for myself, I get all tongue-tied. Having letters or an advocate with me who can speak for and with me is a huge help.

I also know that our true needs are provided for in our lives. We many not always get what we want, but we do get exactly what we need. We just have to have an open mind and open eyes to see what is offered or to look for which door to open.

Sending prayers and good thoughts for you and the kids.


sabby

Sabby right now l am crushed.............out of energy, recovering from my hospital stay, dog is missing again, packing my house up ready to be thrown out on the street. so right now idk what my wants and needs are
maybe it is too much to both want and need somewhere warm and safe for me and the kids idk all l do know is that it hurts and it hurts bad atm. Right now thius is my lowest point in a long time and l truely do not know what to do, where to go, how to get help. pnurse and pdoc are aware of situation, the court is aware of situation ................me l am just broken!!! confusedand hurting so bad...........does it ever end?????

I agree.... this is not punishment. It is a tough row of life though. Please be sure to tell the judge that your spouse isn't providing for the kids or paying alimony (I assume, since you are so destitute.)

Try and keep an appreciative heart for being out of the abusive home, for the kids. You can live through anything with the right spirit, even when it seems impossible.

(((hug))) Make sure the local churches and organizations know you are needing, and with children.

This is not a punishment... you're no to blame... you're a great loving mother to your children - that I've seen with my very own eyes. You always put your children first. You have been used, abused, taken for granted, misjudged and mistreated... but you said NO! IT'S ENOUGH! You had to for yourself and for your beloved children. Now the abuse has been exchanged with new problem which of course isn't fair on you in any way. Right now you live in limbo... not knowing what on Earth will happen. No words can take away the pain you feel or solve your problems for you... but near future will show the way. Like my therapist says: "In some way it has to work... because in no way it does not." Still to live in this turmoil is eating at you more than anything has ever done before. I'm with you from a distance each and ever day and night. When you need to shout - shout... when you need to cry - cry... be silent together with me - be silent... I'm always here for you emotionally. I wish I could do more practically...
I will not let you fall! You're my very best friend and I love you and your children!



/N