Sleepless

I've been in recovery from CSA for over a decade. I still have the worst time going to sleep. I stay up as long as I can until I collapse from exhaustion. I don't think I've ever really understood why. I have said to myself over and over that I was not abused at night, only during the day, so what is the problem? For reasons I simply do not understand, it has taken until tonight to be able to identify what keeps me awake. I am simply afraid.

mtd

MTD, in my case, the nighttime is always the hardest. It is because the brain has no outside noise to distract it. That leaves room for thinking and processing. And when trauma has not been processed out all the way, it will surface when it thinks it has room to come forward.

My T also has that problem from his CSA and he recommended I try 5 HTP since it helps him sleep. It works! I have to take it about 2 hours before bed because you have to take it with water so it will not make your stomach upset. But man - it sure has helped a ton!