He did it again

(((((( GEM ))))))

I'm sorry all this is so damn hard.

I can't imagine what this must be like for you.

I can only offer my support in any way you might need it.

Petunia

((((Petunia)))) Thanks

How are you doing with this Gem? You have support no matter your decision as taking care of yourself needs to come first. Checking in to see if you've been able to handle intrusive thoughts or whatever this brought up for you over the past week. You're strong and you survived. Thinking of you.

Thanks for checking in on me _zh; I appreciate it.

I am doing ok considering I guess. I have a new love in my life which has helped somewhat. I am flooded with memories that I had pushed down for a long time. I have relived a lot of torture lately.

I am still not quite sure of my ability to go through with testifying. I am actually meeting with the DA later today to discuss it. My biggest fear is that I will get on the stand and be a little girl again not able to speak. Just seeing his picture in the paper was beyond hard; I can’t imagine seeing him sitting in front of me.

Gem,

Have you talked to T about it?

I know you have a new one you're "breaking in."

Maybe in the end this will free you.

((((( )))))

Here if you need me.

Petunia

She didn't "break in" well.

I quit.

She was from mars.

I'm terribly impulsive.

Ah crap.

You need a support system asap.

I can't be there in body, but I can be there in spirit.

Please take good care today sweetie.

I just PM'ed you with instructions.

((((( GEM )))))

Petunia

Thanks for letting us know more. We'd like to know how today's meeting with DA goes when you're up to writing about it.

The flooding with memories is really hard and can feel like it will never end.......but it does!! Keep faith.

We've got to agree with Petunia about getting a support system/ new T in there asap. Is there a victims advocates program through the court system? We're sure others in this forum would know more about such things.

We hear your fear. We're sorry you're facing this again not of your own choosing. You're a strong adult now who can make her own choices and you do have the option to not testify if it is too hard on you.

You come first here. Please seek out IRL support for this and keep posting.

kindly,

The meeting with the DA was hard, but I made it out ok. He said that I may be able to testify from a satellite location and not have to be in the court room. I think that would be much easier on me. I really want to see him put away. I don’t want this to happen to yet another little girl.

I am looking for a new T. The one who I was seeing gave me some advice that was really “out there” and made me lose all trust and respect. It would be pointless for me to go back. I go to a group and I am going to get a referral from them.

So all in all, I am ok. It is hellish, and I am still trying to hold back the flood waters, but I will be ok.