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#1
Sep 14, 2005, 08:05 PM
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I've lost weight over the last few months and treated myself to some shorts that fit. They are tasteful and I received compliments from people. A friend gave me some tops that fit and I looked decent.
I was trying to get some things out of my car three weeks ago, wearing a pair of the shorts and my fav red top, and a man bothered me. I got away from him, but I've been mugged on that lot and anther time a man tried to break into my car, and I've been "bothered" before. The next day I was starving. I'm on new meds which are messing with my system so I thought it was the meds. I found myself binging on cookies and pepsi. I don't have an appetite, much less binge. I've gained maybe 5 pounds instead of continuing to lose. A couple days ago I was doing something and kinf of day dreaming, too and the thought that caught my attention was, "If I just hadn't lost that weight and been wearing that outfit that man wouldn't have bothered me." Bingo! As soon as I recognized what my unconscious believed, the hunger left. Isn't just like a person with ptsd who's been horribly abused to some how blame herself for being abused again? Sadly, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#2
Sep 14, 2005, 08:20 PM
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You were def not to blame for this man bothering you. It was his choice to be a jerk, not yours. You sound like me a lot, though. I think if I wasn't present in an abusive situation it wouldn't have happened. The truth is it would've been someone else if it hadn't been you.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#3
Sep 14, 2005, 08:26 PM
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(((((((((((((( Lex )))))))))))
Thank you so much. It's disheartening that I thought that way, but good that I realized it. Yep, the man was a jerk. Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#4
Sep 14, 2005, 08:47 PM
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((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))
You're right, it is horrible. You should never blame yourself, but of course, thats 100 times easier said than done. Remember we love you and are here for you!!!
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"Next, don't go to Europe to 'find yourself.' Who told you you were over there anyway?" -The Colbert Report on 'Things Not To Do After Graduating College' |
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#5
Sep 14, 2005, 09:16 PM
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((((((((((((((((((jan)))))))))))))))))))))
i'm so sorry that happened, but what wonderful and useful insight you've gained! keep yourself really safe and be good to yourself right now. kd
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#6
Sep 14, 2005, 11:19 PM
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(((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that it ever happened but I am so impressed by your insight. The guy was totally to blame. I am glad you are safe. Again good job!
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#7
Sep 15, 2005, 01:00 AM
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Hiya Jan,
I know, all to well how bad PTSD can be, I was diagnosed well over a year ago, and that is when I finally started try to get some help. I look back and this has been going on for quite a while. I can empathize with you on so many levels. When I'm not apologizing to everyone in sight and blaming myself for things I didn't do, I'm doing all sorts of odd subconscious things similar to your binging. You are a good girl!!! You did nothing wrong, this is not your fault and you do not deserve this. (((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))) They say acknowledging a problem is one of the most important steps toward recovery so your doing a great job!!! With a bunch of exceptions, MOST MEN are PIGS . . . Sam
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I am a spiritual woman living a human life . . . Damn, no wonder it's messed up, I picked second class citizen status for this trip . . . I wouldn't trade it for all the testosterone or money in the universe. I love being a girl! |
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#8
Sep 15, 2005, 07:47 AM
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Jan, men who are like that are LOSERS and he approached you because of his own twisted thoughts and desires, not because of what you wore. He would still have 'bothered' you if you had been wearing a spacesuit...lol. it's good that you managed to work out what's been going on in your mind, though... and now you can just tell yourself that "If I just hadn't lost that weight and been wearing that outfit that man wouldn't have bothered me." just isn't true!
 (but I can see just how easily it's believed  ...)PS I hope that you managed to eat cookie dough before the cookies!  ((((((((((((((((( Jan ))))))))))))))))))))
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#9
Sep 16, 2005, 12:26 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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#10
Sep 16, 2005, 11:29 AM
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(((((((((((((( Miss )))))))))))))))))
Thank you so very much. I appreciate it more than I can say. Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#11
Sep 16, 2005, 11:30 AM
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(((((((((((((( Kimmy ))))))))))))))
Thank you so much. I am trying to keep myself safe. It's kind of hard to do that sometimes..... Isn't that sad? Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#12
Sep 16, 2005, 11:31 AM
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(((((((((((((( BP Bear)))))))))))))
Thank you so much. It's so funny how our minds can work, isn't it? Thank you again. Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#13
Sep 16, 2005, 11:34 AM
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((((((((((((( Sam))))))))))))
It's so nice to talk to you. Thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate it. It's amazing how much we apologize for just breathing! I didn't realize other ppl did that. Thank you so much! Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#14
Sep 16, 2005, 11:36 AM
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((((((((((((((((( Silver ))))))))))))))))))))))
I am trying to imagine me in a space suit! lol!!! Yeah, he was mean and it wasn't my fault. I am trying so hard to watch my back on that parking lot! Just so you know, I had some cookie dough yesterday!  Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#15
Sep 16, 2005, 11:38 AM
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((((((((((((((((( Jen )))))))))))))))))
Oh Jen, I'm so glad you found my post. I didn't want to tell you because you've been having such a hard time. Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#16
Sep 16, 2005, 02:19 PM
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Jan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can tell me anything. I am your friend....remember .I want to support you when you need it, OK? Love ya, Jen |
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#17
Sep 16, 2005, 03:45 PM
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((((((((((((((jan))))))))))))))))))
I am sorry to hear about this. I hope that you are taking care of yourself. im here for you, ok
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Live life passionately, love unconditionally. Hope for the best, laugh your heart out. Cry when you need to, learn from the past. And remember what is meant to be will find its way. |
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#18
Sep 16, 2005, 07:23 PM
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((((((((((((((( Jen ))))))))))))))
I know, we take care of each other! Hugs, Jan
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#19
Sep 16, 2005, 07:24 PM
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((((((((((((((( Mel ))))))))))))))
You're so awesome. Thank you so much. Hugs, Jen
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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