[suzzie]

was my bday yesterday. so was thinking about this. when i was having my 10 bday. we were all outside and one of the girls called everyone together and announced this. in a loud and very confident but angry voice "you mom just invited the whole class so you could get more presents." and then some other stuff about how it wasnt even a party. my mom really wasnt good at. didnt do anything other than to invite and have cake and ice cream. so maybe her preception was correct. but the way she did it crushed me. and the party fell apart after that. that was the last bday party i ever had. from the 11 and on i came up with excuses why i couldnt have one. i go out of my way to make sure no one knows when its mine and let it quietly slip by unnoticed. i still have problems with people wanting to give me gifts. i just refuse. politely. just a foolish memory.

[purple_fins]

I don't think that's a foolish memory at all-- it's probably a sad one
I'm sorry that happened to you. kids can be so cruel at times. Some parents just aren't very good at knowing how to have a kids birthday party, it's unfortunate for sure.

I have a bad memory of my birthday when I turned 5 and since then I avoid acknowledging it. (It's VERY close to yours actually)

Please hear this--- YOU DO so deserve a great birthday and gifts and cake and all that makes you feel loved. There is only one YOU thus- you are a treasure in this world.
I would like to wish you and hope you will accept it---

Happy Birthday!!

fins

[lynn P.]

Aww that was beautiful ((Fins)). I 'm sorry this happened ((suzzie)). I agree children can be cruel sometimes and true it would have been better if it was planned better but that's not your fault.

I agree with Fins - don't let that experience ruin your future birthdays. Happy Birthday to you and you have the right to celebrate this special day when you ((Special suzzie)) was born.

[Sannah]

Suzzie, this is a significant memory because it hurt you and it changed your behavior by causing you to avoid birthday parties. I'm sorry that that happened to you.

In your other post here you mention that you were ten when your dad abused you. Which one of these happened first?

[suzzie]

bday........
my memory of time is sometimes out. just realized. because the birthday happened in one house. (houses is how i remember age) and my dad was the next house. so bday was 9 then. because i know i was 10 in other house. sorry.

[Sannah]

The year that you were ten sounds like a very stressful year?

[suzzie]

yes. 9 - 11 were real bad. because of a regular csa and then my dad. and also me mom telling me angrily all the time that i was in love with my dad. i dont know why she kept saying that.

then 12 -13 were just as bad for a different reason.

[Sannah]

Was your family under stress at that time?

[suzzie]

maybe. my dad drank alot. and the marriage was not good. they faught alot. my older brother was a handful. its hard to remember things.

[geez]

(((Suzzie))) I'm sorry to hear about your feelings about birthdays and I can relate. I too share some of the same feelings you have about birthdays and being disappointed. Well this is kind of a day late so I hope this is still ok??


Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday Dear Suzzie
Happy Birthday To You.


Many hugs to you Suzzie and consider something comforting for yourself.

[suzzie]

thank you all for the beautiful singing and THREE cakes.

this day always embarrasses me. i just want it over and done as quickly as possible. like it never was.

guess in my mind im not good enough for anyone to care about it. anyways its overwith for this year and im glad.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by suzzie

this day always embarrasses me.

Maybe a lot of your embarrassment is still coming from this birthday incident when you were 10? If you can eventually talk about it in therapy and release your feelings there, you will be able to let it go and then you won't feel so bad on your birthdays.