Seems like i`m still being abused

I have been leading internal conversations with my alters.. i have Dissociative identity disorder (what some call multiple personality) - so i found another inner child alter who says... that my mom STILL abuses me.

It brought me a flash back of what it claims to be last weekend when i came here - to my parents. i come here every week. To my parents. From the big city. So it brought me scary visions of my mother coming with HER alter - really a different person..and...do sexual things to me. It claims to be JUST LAST WEEK and has a whole...bunch..well a bunch is too small for that - says that "i am used to it."

I know that most will tell me that IF this is happening i should get away from here....the problem is that this scares me even more but even now..family will start asking why do i go...i don`t know...i just SO BADLY don`t want to - wake the bad mother up! If i don `t want to have sex with her she sticks a needle into my head and i just go limp

- well this was actually my alter who typed the text in bold out. It claims to have this abuse most of our life. When i started having them - they were other alters - claiming to be like 2, 3.5 years old...who tolerated sexual things that mother did to me.

But you see there is a problem....is this reliable?
Maybe i am not being abused and this is form some other time?
Why should i stop my life going normally because of my underground life?

I don`t know what to do . Afraid to go to bed. Well. I guess i will see.

your in therapy too hopefully!

yeah. had a hard time bringing that up with him, i will with time....

thanks for reply whatever

i am in therapy for other abuse and the DID etc...

Offering safe hugs,

I just want to say that my mother brings up things within our system we too have DID...Not that we have any reason that she contributed yet to anything but when she leaves all of a sudden the memories start flooding thru.....,

Please don't second guess yourself. There will be those that say yes these could be false memories and so yes maybe they could be but then again the question would have to be "why" and that would still need attention right! This is still serious....I believe especially when there is already DID involved for "other" reasons all things need special care and attention....Please take special care of yourself. Soon you will be strong enough to protect yourself from her influence when you have enough insight for yourself....For all yourselves....Maybe have an inside meeting? Learn some things you can do to recover after she leaves or after you see her to relieve some of the ugly thing that you feel...Like coloring some just random emotional drawings scribbles anything.....

I am sorry that your going thru this safe hugs, you can pm me if you want I apologize if I say anything upsetting,
Kalisha