[wisewoman]

You can't fire me I QUIT, seems I don't fit in. And what do we do day to day with the pain? People can be rotten and I am confused because of my own birth family and the hatred I feel for them. And then there is my friend who's kids are being a holes. I am so confused.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

(((((( WISEWOMAN ))))))) I have no words or wisdom but I do care and am here for you

[Kathyanita]

Wisewoman,
I think we should get some apples. I'll show you how to carve them into apple heads for making dolls. I'll show you how to dry them. While they dry we can make the doll bodies. We'll use straw. Its harvest time. When the little heads are dry we can put the dolls together, one for each jerk, and sit them out on the porch where they will grow old and wrinkled and smaller. They are dead already, you know. They're history. We don't even need to put pins in them cause they are rotting inside. That can't feel good. Then when they start to stink we'll throw them out with the rest of the trash.
If you want, and if I lived next-door, thats what we'd do.
TC

GRRRRRRRRRRRR Rotten people!!!!!!! I know what you mean about the birth family. More GRRRRRRRRRRs.
((((((((((((Wisewoman))))))))))))
Hang in there!

[wisewoman]

Thank you all. yes, I am confused and yes they are already rotting inside. I like the image of the apple dolls. My confusion is that there is no black and white. My friend who died, whom I loved, whom I cared for, beat his kids. One of his sons was talking to me about it and he doesn't have anger or scars. He understands that his father wasn't perfect. Maybe the difference is that he also loved his kids. You know, it wasn't always beatings and fear it was great memories mixed in? I still love him and regret nothing. I am sorry that he made these mistakes parenting. it was the culture during the late 60's and early 70's when he was raising his kids. This is a rural, backward place. I am trying to find some peace in knowing that he could beat his kids and then love them. I was beaten and tortured but I was never loved. I was always hated. It is all so hard to understand. The most important thing is that I get to remember who I want to be in this world. How do I want to love, live? Thanks again nevada and Jax and sleeps with Butterflys.

(((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))

You know you are a very strong lady and a very loveable one too!

Time0

[wisewoman]

I hope that I am strong and I hope that I am lovable. Thanks for the kindness. It is difficult to sort out this whole hurt child thing and safety in my current life. I have so many questions. I have pain today knowing that any child has been hurt. There are times when it is worse then others.

Yes there is time that it is worst then others and there will always be.

(((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))))

Time0