domestic violence

Of course you are not a fool. You sound like a clever woman to me.

Life is not always easy but i believe the difficulties are there to teach us. About life. About ourselves.

How has it been lately?

Hope you are ok x

its been ok. there appears to be no trouble with violence etc.
Hes just been slack, changing his visits, running late etc. But that i can live with.
He leaves me fairly well alone, i just keep watching my boy, listening to what he tells me.
I will have to see what happens next.
Sooner or later i know he will be asking for overnight visitation again.
For now i will keep saying no.
Eventually he may take me to court but i will fight that fight when it comes.
Thankyou.

rc, you sound like you are doing really good. This is great news!

Pleased to hear he is not being too difficult at the moment. I know how it can feel its just a matter of time untill.... But try to relax as much as you can and gather strength. Like u say - worry about it if and when it happens.

Sending you a big hug x

so today he tells me he is seeking counselling (will believe it when it happens) and that he has asked for legal help to get his overnight visitation.
Tried to guilt me into it.
Son came home tired, and with a rash and fever (not that he could have helped the rash)
My son comes home from these visits angry, was yelling at his sister and me in the car on the way home that we had ruined (something) and its all our faults. He is not even four.
Gotta wonder what he hears when he is there.

You are incredibly strong - I just felt like I needed to say that.

thankyou.

WHat does your son say about his visits?

Well - to me it sounds like, and i could be wrong, that the counselling idea aims to impress the court and done as a manipulation. Hopefully i m wrong...

I would be concerned that son is coming back with a rash and fever. It would worry me just as the anger and shouting would. If i can advise you - record all this with dates - of when he saw his dad time and date and for how long plus where and what happened when he was back. This will serve you in good stad if it ever reaches court and if you decide to speak to child protection.

You must be strong for you son. When he is angry hug him. Let him say what he wants. Let him cry. Reassure him you are doing everything you can to protect him.ask him what happens when he sees his dad.

The behaviour you describe is worrying. I wish i could do more for you....

Hugs

thankyou.
He comes home usually so angry towards me. I just let him go through it and be 'normal ' with him and it passes within about a hour. I do let him say whatever he needs to and comfort him when he is sad about getting in trouble at his dads

He has a childhood virus (this is what the rash is) glad i got him seen by a doctor though its good to know, apparently its going around his preschool!
Anyway, i am documenting everything.
And staying strong, just feeling jittery and wound up.
Thankyou again for ur support!

So he is angry about getting in trouble at his dads?

Thats really good you are letting him say what he wants and comforts him when he is sad. When he s calm down try to have a conversation with him. Lots of eye contact and reassurance. Ask him what bothers him. To tell you not shout. Then you can help.

Its a valuable skill that he will learn and also ne easier for you and him to manage this.

What does he get in trouble for? What are the consequences at his dad for getting into trouble?

I m sorry he is sick. Hope he gets better soon! I can just imagine how hard this is for you. Try to think about positive good experiences you can have with the kids to strengthen your bond.

And do something nice for yourself. A nice book. A bath
a massage. What ever you like.

Just remember that you dont have to face him every day which is a good thing.

Hugs. And no problem - hope its helping a bit xx

No he gets sad.

It does help. More than u realise.

He gets in trouble for little things.
Not wanting to finish hiS lunch.
Tripping over
Saying what instead of pardon.
Hes only three.
His father does not really understand kids expects them to be adult.
He tells him hees a naughty boy, a fool, stands him in the corner
I think he used to smack him.
When my ex was violent in the past it was never about disipline
It was a RAGE.
It uasually just came out of no where.
With the older kids he would pick on them for everything, putting them down calling them stupid all day long
I worry my son will face that too as he gets older.
We talk alot at home about how situations make us feel,
My eldest has aspergers, so it helps her learn to express her frustrations too.
But that is good advice and all of it is appreciated.

he is taking my son with him when he scores drugs.

Can you report that to child protective services? That is child endangerment. He wouldn't be told where the report came from.

Hi. It saddend me to read how he behaves towards the kids. It breaks my heart to imagine your son standing in the corner. And he is 3... Just want to protect him from this abuse. Of course your son is angry and sad. Trouble is - this kind of abusive behaviour will leave long term marks on your son. On his emotional make up and on his believes and behaviour. Calling him names frightening him sranding him in the corner shouting at him demanding too much and doing drugs while caring for kids are all abuse and i think that if you ho to social services they will take it seriously. You can also report him to the police or to child protection.

How do you know about the drugs?

Is there a relative you can trust to help you?

Hope you are doing well today. How has the weekend been?

Glad this helps. Thinking about you x

hi yes im gonna call child protection.
A aquaintaince of mine has seen him (yes this also sheds bad light on the aquaintance)
And my son has reported also going to this residence where he aquires the substance.
Because another child lives at this residence.
All in all a bad situation.
Further to this i know believe that my exs new partner who is temping for welfare offices may have been accessing my infomation and has been
Discussing me in a negative way with other employees of the same service.
Its all getting so messy , i wish it did not have to be this way.

Can you move to another area?

Good you are going to child protection. Let me know how it goes.

Stay positive - i know its hard - and believe in yourself and your rights.

i cant / wont move.
if i try hide from him our lives would be chaos and it looks terrible to the courts if u hide a child.
I am speaking with child protection today. I will let u know what they say.

Crossing my fingers. Hope they will get the picture and be active.

Will check in later to read. X

Best of luck to you. I hope things can settle down for you guys. I will be thinking about you.

im and idiot and a fool.
But luckily nothing much came of it.
Today he threatened not to return my son after a visit
.
Because we have no legal doccumentation he could have gotten away with it.
Luckilly he was just trying to torture me.
He returned my son.

and i now know what i have to do next.

so sorry this is happening rapidcycla....you are in my thoughts!