[twistedmoon]

Generally the good times outweigh the bad, and I feel so very lucky to have found him, so lucky that for some reason I still cant understand he chose to be with me despite all my crazyness.He mostly takes it all in stride and laughs and smiles, and he has the greatest smile. He broke down my defenses, my stubbornness, my flat angry refusal to let anyone in, with that amazing smile and that dorky laugh, his way of seeing me anyway and understanding me no matter how hard I tried to hide. When he hurts or scares me, or makes me feel like nothing through neglect, and knows it, he always apologizes and looks and sounds so sorry. When he lies and breaks promise after promise its the same. Even when he uses me, doesnt care and wont stop even when hes hurting me and im trying to hurt him just to try to make him stop. And I always want to believe him! Im crazy about him

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by twistedmoon

When he hurts or scares me, or makes me feel like nothing through neglect, and knows it, he always apologizes and looks and sounds so sorry.

When he lies and breaks promise after promise its the same.

Even when he uses me, doesnt care and wont stop even when hes hurting me and im trying to hurt him just to try to make him stop.

Sounds like you are still being abused. You deserve better.

[yellowted]

you wrote 'When he hurts or scares me,' No one has the right to hurt or scare you, and saying sorry does not fix the fact he has over stepped the mark. you deserve better than this, you say yourself he uses you, get the hxxx out of there, this relationship is detremental to your wellbeing. there is someone out there in the world who is looking for their miss right who will treat you like a lady should be treated, with respect and dignity, you will find him eventually, but not if you stay in the relationship you are in now.

[ladyjrnlist]

I couldn't agree with yellowted any more. In fact, DITTO.

[twistedmoon]

Thank you everyone. I just have this love/hate relationship with him, that makes me sometimes feel like im the luckiest woman to have him when he puts up the effort that made me love him in the first place, and sometimes like I made a horrible mistake deciding to spend my life with him when I knew I was probably asking for trouble.I waver between these two extremes so much it makes my head spin sometimes. I just know he doesnt do these things purposefully, that its just in his nature and he was even forthright about that to me from nearly the beginning, and I would feel a fool to turn around now after all these years and say "sorry but im leaving you for being who you are." I love him and enjoy his company and most of these slip ups have been very few and far between until recently. im not sure what has brought about the change in him lately

[Sannah]

Wow, you let him get away with mistreating you? He needs to be held accountable for his actions and poor choices. Have you heard about the cycle of abuse? THere is a lot on the net about it. Here is one article:

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page5.htm