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#1
Feb 17, 2011, 10:20 AM
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Do you still have contact with your abuser? If so, how does it make you feel.
I still have contact with my dad who abused me physically, verbally, and emotionally as a child. I still talk to him but that old hurt is inside. How do you get past that?
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those who matter.. Don’t mind... And those who mind.. Don’t matter." (Dr. Seuss) 
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#2
Feb 17, 2011, 11:07 AM
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I have contact with my parents and one of my brothers. my oldest brother and his family I do not have contact with.
the brother I do have contact with was physically abusive. we don't really 'talk', but we see each other when we both visit my parents and my parents and his wife and kids occasionally come visit us. he has not. his wife and i get along very well. my oldest brother sexually abused me. i opened up about this a few years ago and my sister in law found out. she and my brother discussed it with my parents without saying anything to me and my mother later confronted me demanding details of what happened. i was unable to give her what she wanted and said i would no longer discuss it with any of them. it is now just another elephant in the room between us. i have not spoken to my brother since we moved out of state 4 years ago. my sister in law and i have not spoken since she recommended i 'call my brother and discuss the matter with him'. it's been nearly 3 years. things are a bit awkward with my parents, but mostly for me.. and not nearly as awkward as they were for me around my oldest brother before we moved out of state. we all attended the same church and saw each other every Sunday and our kids were in the same Sunday school classes.. still, I've never had a 'real' relationship with either of my brothers. just superficial. I only had a brief relationship with my parents where I actually felt like I trusted them and could talk to them about things in my life.. but that's done now. I maintain contact with them because they are good grand parents.
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 wife. mom. swimmer. writer. trying to live life in spite of depression, dissociation, and PTSD. member of a club that no one wants to join... |
 Thimble
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 Skully
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#3
Feb 17, 2011, 11:52 AM
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i text my brother - my dad is dead - he puts love u at the end of his messages and i cant type it back .......... we are in different countries now playing the - it never happened game - but it did - and the barriers remain
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| Skully
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#4
Feb 17, 2011, 02:23 PM
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sometimes one of our abusers contacts us, and we don't ever respond, but we don't stop the contact because in some ways we still like believing that she cared for us.
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| Skully
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#5
Feb 17, 2011, 03:41 PM
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It takes therapy I think to get past the hurt.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Skully
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#6
Feb 17, 2011, 04:19 PM
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i cut off contact with them, and if i had to see them, i never forgot who they were in the past, and who they might still be,, i don't trust them, ever and most of them are dead or gone far away... the few that i do see i don't pretend to like, and they pretend they don't remember what they did, so in a way, they are dead too,,,, it's the inside ME that has to be dealt with, and i have done that long ago,,, i have found ways to find the good in me that flowered from the seeds of toleration and rebellion that were sown in my heart. i hope you find a way to harvest the fruit of your experiences, whether you liked them or not ~~! best wishes,, Gus
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AWAKEN~! |
| CedarS, Skully
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#7
Feb 18, 2011, 07:03 AM
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agrees with Sannah
(from deep inside the cave)
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| Sannah, Skully
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#8
Feb 18, 2011, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those who matter.. Don’t mind... And those who mind.. Don’t matter." (Dr. Seuss)
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#9
Feb 19, 2011, 01:22 AM
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Quote:
And i dont know how to move beyond the past either... |
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#10
Feb 19, 2011, 01:27 AM
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Quote:
For everyone else here, a  ....
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#11
Feb 23, 2011, 01:45 PM
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I rarely talk to my brother. He calls when he needs something every few months but that's it. I've pushed it out of my mind as much as I can. I love him but I can't get past the fact that he called me a liar and my parents believed him. They believed my other brothers about the physical abuse from my oldest brother but they make excuses for his behavior.
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