[embracinglife]

I've known for awhile that I was psychologically and emotionally abused growing up by my father. But I think I was still in denial about it...until now.

I am finally coming out of that denial with the help of my new T. She recommended me to read up on some material on dysfunctional families...and now I am realizing how much the family dysfunction affected me.

I think in my family we have ignored how my dad has affected us. My parents are still married and say that they are very happily married. But even though I live in another state and am living on my own, my dad has still been abusive whenever I go home for visits.

It's hard for me to make sense of all of this, because on the one hand my mom says that my dad is doing much better...but from my perspective he treats me the same if not worse than he always has.

Any advice would be helpful. Also, if you have any good books or resources on dysfunctional families and emotional abuse that would be helpful as well.

[Sannah]

Hi EL, maybe your dad is better with your mom and this is what she is noticing? I'm glad that you are realizing a lot with therapy.

My advice is to keep working in therapy and post here if it is helpful.

[Jewels]

(((((((((( embracinglife ))))))))))

i am so glad to hear you are beginning to work in therapy to start to heal those scars of the past.

It could very well be that your mom sees your dad as better, especially if there are no children left in the home for him to abuse. That doesn't negate the fact that he compromised your boundaries to make you feel like a nothing so much of the time.

I think sometimes the emotional and psychological trauma we experience is greater than the physical trauma. It is harder I think to get past the emotional trauma because you encounter it when you go home to visit. That feels like a slap in the face, that you cannot get over by yourself. Those wounds run deep, and it is difficult to NOT think of yourself as somehow flawed. You are NOT flawed. You are reacting to something that should not even be an issue, IF your father had changed he would not treat you like he has your whole life.

Sending you gentle hugs, positive thoughts, and prayers to help you heal.

Jewels