[suzzie]

t asked me to bring in some homework today to show her. she had to ask for it a few times before i finally agreed to show it to her. it was just the start of a collage she wants me to finish. but the minute she looked at it my mind went crazy. i was absolutely beside myself with fear. she wanted me to look at it and discuss it. but i couldnt. my mind was going crazy. it was all i could do to survive the moment. i dissociated alot through the remaining time. now im scared about continuing trauma work. its only going to get worse from here.

[Xeneon]

Well the great part is that your T can help you threw the it when you mind is going crazy and you about to explode. I know this is hard and i give you the most correct it in the world for doing it. It might get worse but it gets better. Thats the great part about it. Hope things get easier and maybe if you think she is going to fast ask her to slow down. Keep it up. ((((Suzzie)))

[Can't Stop Crying]

It is so tough processing trauma, but I promise you every little bit I release gives me a tiny bit more relief. There have been times when I am ready to throw in the towel and give up, something in me keeps fighting. I know that I still have a ways to go and sometimes I feel so completely overwhelmed, but I try really hard to believe there will be a time when I am able to consider myself recovered. You are doing the best you can and sharing the collage was a great step. I am proud of you! I imagine you were scared to share it with her - sharing the burden helps lighten the load. You determine the pace and if you need to slow down, let your T know. I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

[Sannah]

Suzzie, can you tell her what happened with you during this session. Just working on that would be really good.