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  #1  
Old Jun 03, 2011, 10:27 PM
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shoez shoez is offline
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(Possible Trigger)

Today I was in a DVD store..a regular DVD store. They had kid movies, and every kind of move..free willy...etc...

I was browsing...and I went to the back of the DVD store...and then when I looked to my left...there was a man, and he was looking at the DVDs and ...then I realized they were pornographic DVDs and then I just started whimpering and holding my arm. I felt so helpless...I felt like I knew him and I started walking to the other side of the store ...but I couldnt stop whimpering. Im sure people thought I was crazy.

Later on, I was sitting down and suddenly when I inhaled I got a horrible sharp pain in my left side of my chest...its been getting worse and worse as the day goes on (its been at least 6 hours) it just feels bad and now my legs hurt. Each time I think about that man and him ...

My stepfather, comes to mind. He made me watch pornography and he forced me and told me I liked it because I was dirty..I feel so scared..I feel like that man in the store knew and Im disgusting and I just couldnt stop whimpering around in the store all pathetically like an idiot.

Physically right now..Im in incredible pain in my muscles..has this ever happened to anyone? Emotionally Im just numb...I dont know anymore
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  #2  
Old Jun 03, 2011, 10:46 PM
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It sounds like your muscles are tensed following your bad experience in the store today. Could you take a relaxing bubble bath or do some stretches? Try to divert your mind by listening to music or watching a favorite DVD.
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  #3  
Old Jun 03, 2011, 10:55 PM
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I agree. Have you had panic attacks before? It sounds maybe like it could be that?
Try to relax and focus on now. He was not your stepdad, and you aren't that kid anymore. Just keep reminding yourself you are safe, you are ok, you are not disgusting. Triggers suck They come out of nowhere and knock us down. Just get back up and keep fighting this battle.
  #4  
Old Jun 04, 2011, 12:04 AM
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Can't Stop Crying Can't Stop Crying is offline
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I agree with doodle..it sounds like a panic attack. The severe ones can cause you to unknowingly tense your muscles and rapid heartbeat and hyperventilating cause all the symptoms you are describing. I'm sorry this is so tough, triggers are awful. Is there anything you can do to relax and try to get yourself grounded?
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Horrible Horrible Chest Pain..SCARED

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou


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  #5  
Old Jun 04, 2011, 01:55 AM
arcangel arcangel is offline
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I agree with everyone pretty much but...if you haven't talked to an MD yet and the pain is still there it might be best to get it checked out just to be on the safe side.
  #6  
Old Jun 04, 2011, 10:09 PM
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((((((((((((Shoez))))))))))))

I hope you are feeling better.
  #7  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 12:53 AM
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Can't Stop Crying Can't Stop Crying is offline
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Are you feeling any better Shoez?
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Horrible Horrible Chest Pain..SCARED

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou


Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
  #8  
Old Jun 06, 2011, 12:38 AM
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shoez shoez is offline
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I still have it ..a few days later now..but its faint. I think maybe I got so worked up I messed up my muscles.

It was just too much. I felt like that guy was going to abuse me. Im better now.

Thank you so much everyone for caring
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  #9  
Old Jun 06, 2011, 03:55 PM
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Can't Stop Crying Can't Stop Crying is offline
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Maybe check with your doc if it continues? I know after severe attacks, I've felt lingering pain for days. I guess it takes the body some time to recover from an extreme stress-er like that. Hang in there!
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Horrible Horrible Chest Pain..SCARED

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou


Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
  #10  
Old Jun 08, 2011, 10:31 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Sounds like you were triggered and it brought back all of those old, stored feelings. Do you have a therapist to discuss this with?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

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  #11  
Old Jun 10, 2011, 12:07 AM
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shoez shoez is offline
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I dont anymore. I have a pastor..but Im too ashamed to say anything.
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  #12  
Old Jun 11, 2011, 08:59 AM
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Shame is so common - remember, it doesn't belong to you - it belongs to the ones who hurt you. I have finally reached the point where I understand that concept intellectually, but I'm having a hard time making my heart believe it. I feel for you! It's not fair that it happened in the first place, it's even more unfair that we are left dealing with the aftermath. I try really hard to have hope for healing - sometimes that hope seems so far out of reach...
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Horrible Horrible Chest Pain..SCARED

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou


Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
  #13  
Old Jun 12, 2011, 09:37 AM
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shoez shoez is offline
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it helps me so much just to know that someone else understands. I felt like I could have written what you just wrote
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  #14  
Old Jun 13, 2011, 01:59 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Can you get another therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #15  
Old Jun 14, 2011, 02:14 PM
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shoez shoez is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Can you get another therapist?
no money for regular visits to therapists. Also, going regularly to a therapist makes my mother angry...which I dont like....

I was thinking about doing online therapy or something
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  #16  
Old Jun 15, 2011, 10:31 AM
Sjimstrat Sjimstrat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shoez View Post
(Possible Trigger)

Today I was in a DVD store..a regular DVD store. They had kid movies, and every kind of move..free willy...etc...

I was browsing...and I went to the back of the DVD store...and then when I looked to my left...there was a man, and he was looking at the DVDs and ...then I realized they were pornographic DVDs and then I just started whimpering and holding my arm. I felt so helpless...I felt like I knew him and I started walking to the other side of the store ...but I couldnt stop whimpering. Im sure people thought I was crazy.

Later on, I was sitting down and suddenly when I inhaled I got a horrible sharp pain in my left side of my chest...its been getting worse and worse as the day goes on (its been at least 6 hours) it just feels bad and now my legs hurt. Each time I think about that man and him ...

My stepfather, comes to mind. He made me watch pornography and he forced me and told me I liked it because I was dirty..I feel so scared..I feel like that man in the store knew and Im disgusting and I just couldnt stop whimpering around in the store all pathetically like an idiot.

Physically right now..Im in incredible pain in my muscles..has this ever happened to anyone? Emotionally Im just numb...I dont know anymore
Sounds like a pretty bad anxiety attack. Your pain is very real. I hope you saw an M.D. to rule out other things. The body responds to stimuli differently with everyone. Please talk with a therapist to learn how to cope with these attacks. It's not easy.
  #17  
Old Jun 15, 2011, 10:11 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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There is government supported therapy and sliding scale. Are you a minor?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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