[Samanthaq]

I'm working hard on healing, growing, and moving past the pain. Yet people are more than happy to keep dumping more, and more onto me. Seemingly endless amounts of it . . .

I keep having my meds upped, and now I'm going to have to have my anti-depressant changed becuase I'm in as much pain now, as I was when I started on welbutrin and that with having increased to the point where it was toxic.

Now I'm on max welbutrin, and tranquilizers that used to render me useless and basically drunk and out of it. Now I'm still in pain, still living with fear, uncertainty and so much more and people keep handing me more.

Friday Social Security calls the local police and has me taken to the rubber room. Almost wound up stuck there on a 72hr hold . . . Why, because they beat the crap out of me verbally and emotionally and they KNOW I cannot take that, they have doctors notes as part of my disability file.

My therapist is great, if a bit more positive than helpful. My PDoc has had to be changed because he wouldn't listen, and wasn't reading my file and just mad up his own mind what I was thinking and feeling. WRONG!!!

I need more help than I'm getting, I need protection, I need help, and I'm not getting any . . . I tried to have my social changed so that me ex and in-laws cannot find me, and they chased me out of the building, and THEN had me picked up for a hold just for trying to do it. Mind you I have paperwork that proves enough DM to qualify but no . . . They had me dropped into a rubber room . . .

What does a girl have to do to get some REAL help in Jersey???

A person can't just walk into social security office demanding a new number, especially since 9/11. If you are having a domestic violence problem go to your local domestic violence office and they will put you up in a shelter/ relocation program. Sometimes but not always they can help you go to court against your abuser, and apply to get your social security number changed officially. even though your number gets changed they will still be able to locate you through your birth certificate, name and so on.. especially now that everything is computerized. On line a person , anyone can hire a background search which will result in new name, social security numbers and so on being found out for as little as $35.00 and going as high as $200.00. Your best bet is to go to court, get a restraining order and the FIRST time the abusers violate that order have them arrested (and don't retract or bail them out for they will know you will not enforce it again) most times one arrest for violating the order works because each arrest they stay in jail longer and the bail is raised.

[Samanthaq]

Been there done that, have all the proof they said they need, had even my birth certificate changed and they said I lied, forged it all, it was all in my head, and had my thrown in a rubber room.

I used to work in IT, Banking, all that stuff, and know how to get it all erased and changed. There are laws to allow this too, I've followed all of them. No connection between my new name and my old one, ANYWHERE! But the SS Nazis want me to throw all that away and keep using the same number despite the fact that they commonly DO give new numbers for protection from DV.

All that proof in hand, they claim I'm a liar and forger and have me locked up for a while. I can't take this from everyone much longer. Why is it SO hard to try and heal and move on with some kind of life?

Samantha..

I'm so sorry things are not going well right now. I just hope you can keep afloat until things start to subside. Know that we are thinking of you and are here to listen anytime. *hugs*
EV