I really don't understand

How is it that i am abused, neglected, tortured and told I am a worthless piece of doo all my life and I find a friend who loves me unconditionally, makes a difference in my life, teaches me basic things that every child should know, and she dies? Why don't the parents who were so cruel with unhealthy habits die? They are older. My Jane was young. How can she be dead? It is a piece inside that thinks she is only dead to her and that it is because this person called me is bad. She is dead because this person called me never deserved unconditional love. How is it possible that such love is dead? I know this is confusing, giving keyboard letters to many selves. It is not fair. Who will love me like that? To whom do I go for comfort and advice?

Jane did NOT die because you are bad, ((((Wisewoman)))), even though I know it feels like punishment. Grieving is the worst, isn't it, especially during the holidays?!!

Sending you positive energy...

Peanut

Thanks peanut, I know in my head but it hurts and please know I appreciate your getting it so much.

I get it, too sweetie. I really do. Your feelings are very understandable. Just try to remember it's the terrible voices of the past- it's not true. You are good. And you are loved. You are loved by Jane still today.