[Lexicon78]

I turned my step-sister in to Children and Youth Services the other day for beating her kid. I gained no support from anyone for doing so...not even from my T. My T actually made excuses for her behavior! I don't understand it! So I told my abuse T about it. She asked me how it made me feel...well all of it made me feel like I'm bad and that I'm not important. I've been thinking a lot about everything that's been happening with this. It's like everyone around me thinks I'm doing the wrong thing...why? Because she's my step-sister? I don't care who she is...I see a child being abused and the abuser is his mother...it needs turned in and the kids need taken from her...for good this time.

Tonight I've been thinking of my step-sister. All she's done not only to her kids, but also how she's treated me in the past. She is a very volatile person and is very aggressive and violent at times. I remember in my early teens being terrified of her. I know I've told people here of my hygiene problem that I had in my teens when I was really depressed...that I never left my room. But a lot of the time I wouldn't leave my room because I was afraid of my step-sister and her mother. I think my step-sister is now more cruel than her mother ever was.

I just keep thinking about it all...right now I'm really terrified just remembering everything...and the fact that I'm terrified that when she finds out I turned her in she'll come after me next. A big part of me doesn't care what she does to me as long as her kids are safe and free from her abuse, but another part of me is terrified to know what will happen to me when she does find out.

This is just a waiting game now.

[Rhapsody]

Dear LEX,

From my own experience I would have to say that YOU are not really truly upset or scared over your step-sister, but that she is resonating the REAL WOUND / FEAR that still lies deep with in you.... use this opportunity to heal your hurt self a little bit more - - - seek and find the real problem, from within.

Please read JILL's story.... http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/content/jill.asp

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[JustBen]

If you've got evidence that this woman is beating her kid, then you absolutely did the right thing by alerting the authorities. I have no idea why your therapist tried to make excuses for her, but there is no excuse good enough for that kind of thing. It's not even a matter of fault, as far as I'm concerned. (For example, if your step-sister had some sort of brain injury and was not responsible for her actions, you'd still have to protect the children because the cause doesn't matter. If a kid is getting beat, they're getting beat.)

For what it's worth, you have my support. No matter what happens now, please know that you've done the right thing.

[wisewoman]

May we share your strength and ALL report abuse when we see it!!!!

[Rapunzel]

Lex, wanting to protect children from abuse is a good thing. I don't know right now how much confidence I have in the system. I recently reported a case of a child who told us about his father beating him, and the child asked us to tell his mother to make his father stop doing that. I don't know if it will help, because the mother got mad at the child for telling, and now he's just not going to talk about it anymore. At least the child know that someone cares though, and that someone knows it isn't okay for him to be abused.

Maybe your T was trying to help you to understand the reasons why abuse happens. It doesn't excuse it or make it okay, but you might be able to cope with it better if you are more able to understand.

Rap

[Rhapsody]

Dear LEX,

We are all still behind YOU................ hang in there, for doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing to do.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[blackdragon]

i support you for what u did. And you did the right thing.

[bipolar_bear]

Lex I am so happy that you defended the children. It is so sad when no one helps those that need it the most and are unable to help themselves. Please know that you did what you thought best and that is what is important. I think what you did was very brave and very kind. Please don't lose that aspect of yourself.

[Evangelista]

Hi Lex,

I support you for taking a stand up when you felt a child could not do so for him or herself. Our Gatekeepers are failing our children out of fear of litigation and censorship, along with Compassion fatigue under the weight of the shear magnitude of this issue, and if we wait for them to identify every case of Abuse these types of Forums are going to hold Millions of more hurting adult survivors as well as the next generation of victims. I recently had to turn my sister into Child Protective Services in Dec 2004, for imprisoning, emotional abusing, and literally starving my young Niece, in which she convinced her entire family including her Spouse that this was being ordained by God. I won’t go into to much detail, but it was a battle, other professionals who were witness to the issue, did not want to report it, and when I confronted them I got statements of “I know this is a CPS case, but I am afraid they will only make matters worse”, and this was from an MD, who happened to be a church member and felt the issue would place him at odds with his duties as a religious confidant, plus she would withdrawal further into her delusional world and may not allow any contact with my Niece from even church members. This man also told me he knew my sister was mentally ill, and needed help, but this was not his area of expertise, I hit wall, after wall, after wall, it was not these were bad people they just understood how broken the system is, and after awhile you get complacent. So, finally at the risk of loosing a relationship a truly valued, I turned her in, and did exactly that. The whole family is now in Counseling, there is a lot of anger directed toward their mother as they become aware of the web of delusions, but my Niece is thriving, although it has resulted in a pending Divorce with the other parent having temporary custody, I would not, no, I could not watch another child suffer as much as I remember us suffering due to severe childhood physical and emotional abuse. No child deserves to suffer and suffer, and suffer..please I hope you find solace in your decision, it’s a very lonely place to be, my family too did not want me to make the waves, told me to let someone else take up the alarm..but there are to many newspaper stories with the results of that kind of thinking..my sister is still delusional, she refuses to get help, she told me I am no longer her sister, which hurts more than words can convey..I truly love and miss her..I hope someday she will take the medication she needs, until then, my Niece is learning to how to live..and I take solace in that..and again I hope you will too eventually..this is very hard sharing, so please it was done with hope it would help.

[wisewoman]

Amen

[Mystry]

Lexicon from a soul still tormented...you absolutely did the right thing...

[Lexicon78]

I only did what I thought was right.

Unfortunately, nothing is being done because all has been denied by the mother, no one will listen to me and i am made out to be a liar. Those poor children.

At least I tried.

[Rhapsody]

(and)

LoVe,
Rhapsody -