[WantingtoHeal]

**********Big time Trigger alert **********************Please be safe****



I haven't seen a lot of this here or anything much written online about this and it makes me wonder if any others here have had this experience or if anyone has heard of this? (that wasn't written very well at all)

I grew up with a father who was overly obsessed with our bowel habits. He needed to know everything about it. If he wasn't satisfied, we'd get an enema. He was always very angry while this was going on like I had done something wrong. We weren't allowed to lock the bathroom doors or have any privacy. The bathrooms were set up so that he had full view of them wherever he was in the house. There was no way you could sneak in there without him knowing. I was 18 the last time he wanted to give me an enema. I was leaving for college the next morning. I looked at him and said, "no." I had just gotten out of the hospital for anorexia. Still stuns me to this day.

[Purple Heart]

Hi

It seems a rather peculiar type of abuse but then again I have heard of similar things before. I guess the main abuse was having no privacy when going to the toilet. That is abuse! Seems very strange for him to be obsessed with your bowel movements. Unless there had been a history for you in childhood where you suffered from constipation and he wanted to ensure that everything was working fine below. Not sure. Did he molester you too? It comes down to your gut feeling of what you felt about it.

[Gr3tta]

i'm sorry this happened to you. i'm glad you were finally able to say no to him.
being obsessed over bathroom habits seems weird, i'm sure, but it sounds like this was just another way for him to be controlling. in the same category with controlling what someone wears, how their hair is cut or styled, where they go, what they eat, what they drink, what medicines they take, etc. it may also have provided an excuse to touch and or cause pain to private areas.
i was in an abusive relationship where i was not permitted to close the bathroom door. sometimes i was even supposed to use the toilet with that person sitting on my lap. which i couldn't do, which i got punished for, and which caused me pain and infections. i know this was just done to control one more aspect of my life, and because that person delighted in making me humiliated.
i'm glad you're out of that situation. thank you for sharing.

[likewater]

My situation was a little similar. My mom is schizophrenic and was very abusive. Some of the abuse was in the form of medical/ hygeine guises. I had no privacy either. I'm very sorry that happened to you. It can make everday habits/ occurences triggering. It can make going to dr etc . . . Very frightening, and people and the world as a whole very scary. I hope you have a good T. Wishing you healing and peace and hugs if that' s ok.

[coldwutlulz]

That is rather strange but not impossible. As the person above me wrote

Some of the abuse was in the form of medical/ hygeine guises.

So, yeah...
Very cruel as well.

[WantingtoHeal]

Thank you for the responses. Boy was I worried about writing this post.

My father was very controlling. I have often wondered if he was schizophrenic, except that he functioned very well and worked his entire adult life. He was definitely paranoid, though. I don't think constipation was an issue, but I don't really know. I think he just needed to control it. He did the same thing with my sisters.

Yeah, no privacy, no doors locked. Yep, going to the bathroom is very difficult now. Triggering to say the least.

I did tell my T this, so I'm glad it's out there. It's pretty embarrassing. And not something I'm comfortable discussing out loud.

Thanks again so much for the responses. I appreciate them.

[Perna]

I have had difficulties going to the bathroom since I was about 2 and my mother was hospitalized and I became un-toilet trained and my father used enemas on me. When I was seven, in 2nd grade, my father went overseas for nearly a year and I had very great difficulties which my stepmother treated harshly (even having bowel movements in the classroom and having the teacher "sniff" them out).

Now, at age 61, I still mostly go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when it is "safe" and no one will "know" or yell at me, etc. I have a heck of a time with doctors and peeing-on-demand and was yelled at by a technician when I was hospitalized and could not empty my bladder to give a good sonogram scan.

I know where you are coming from! Be kind to yourself.