[WantingtoHeal]

My HW for next session is to write a letter to one of my perps from childhood - telling him how I felt/feel about what happened.

Trouble is is that I just feel so numb ...I can imagine what one would feel and if it were someone else, but not me. I'm trying really hard to get in touch with the feelings, but so much is just not there. I see the scenes play out, and I can guess what an obvious feeling would be, but I don't know for certain that's what i felt.

anyone else struggle with this? i am writing the letter and just trying any way. maybe i'll get to the emotions eventually.

WTH

[roads]

When my husband went missing in Vietnam & wasn't found, I went numb. I was having our baby any day, so when my friends asked how I felt I said, "Fat."

All that went through my mind for weeks were brief scenes from B&W WWII movies where women were being told their husbands had died in action.... Brave, resolute women breaking down only in a private moment with their best friend....

And over the next couple of years I slowly figured out where I was, how I felt, by traveling backward from them out there to me. Sometimes we get shut off from our feelings and we have to go a longer way around back to find ourselves.

So maybe by imagining "what one would feel and if it were someone else," that will work for you in the way the B&W movie scenes did for me. You'll have a place to begin, and from there you'll find your way back to your real feelings.

It took me eight years, with help, to begin to heal from Marty's MIA "death," & that's fast as trauma recovery goes. But I'm not over it. Just better.

Better is good.

Roadie

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by WantingtoHeal

i am writing the letter and just trying any way. maybe i'll get to the emotions eventually.

I agree. Good work! Keep us posted on how you are doing with this?

[geez]

I was right were you are when I started out in therapy. I was completely disconnected from my feelings/emotions and I wrote what I thought I should feel but I never had any feelings. It took me a long time to get to the emotions. Now I want to find the perp and write him a letter and send it to him.

Keep us posted and many hugs.

[WantingtoHeal]

Originally Posted by Roadie

When my husband went missing in Vietnam & wasn't found, I went numb. I was having our baby any day, so when my friends asked how I felt I said, "Fat."

All that went through my mind for weeks were brief scenes from B&W WWII movies where women were being told their husbands had died in action.... Brave, resolute women breaking down only in a private moment with their best friend....

And over the next couple of years I slowly figured out where I was, how I felt, by traveling backward from them out there to me. Sometimes we get shut off from our feelings and we have to go a longer way around back to find ourselves.

So maybe by imagining "what one would feel and if it were someone else," that will work for you in the way the B&W movie scenes did for me. You'll have a place to begin, and from there you'll find your way back to your real feelings.

It took me eight years, with help, to begin to heal from Marty's MIA "death," & that's fast as trauma recovery goes. But I'm not over it. Just better.

Better is good.

Roadie

Wow, Roadie. Thank you so much for sharing that. I'm so sorry about your husband. Trauma is really hard.

WTH

[WantingtoHeal]

I've written the letter and mostly what i feel is SHAME. Wish I could get to the anger and get that out. One day....

Thanks for being there