[suzzie]

why would a dad..

* keep taking you to his friend knowing he would r**** every time
* just sit there and watch his friend r**** you
* let his friend take you to a room r**** you
* want to do the same too you
* act like it was nothing/normal
* let it go on for years
* and his friend want to do this to a child

maybe because i let them..

[Puffyprue]

((((((((((((Suzie))))))))))))

No its happen not because of you, because of him because he is a jerk and sick

((((Suzzie)))))

No it wasn't you please don't blame yourself, These peoples if you can call them that are very manipulative.

[nicoleflynn]

Sadly, there are no answers why ANY parent would do something horrific and criminal...and it is so common. I am so sorry. Have you considered therapy?

Hugs

[roads]

Originally Posted by suzzie

why would a dad..

* keep taking you to his friend knowing he would r**** every time
* just sit there and watch his friend r**** you
* let his friend take you to a room r**** you
* want to do the same too you
* act like it was nothing/normal
* let it go on for years
* and his friend want to do this to a child

maybe because i let them..

You weren't asked for permission, were you? No, your consent wasn't an issue, suzzie. This was something else. You couldn't have stopped it or changed it in any way because it happened to you. It was done to you.

You were the object. The person-things-were-done-to.

You had no say in what happened to you.

Roadie

[bluemountains]

((((Suzzie))))
You were a victim of your father's sick, awful behavior. Both he and his friend are the worst kind of evil, the kind that would take advantage of a child. You are here, telling your story, so you are a survivor! I hope you are able to find help through therapy as you process what has happened to you.
Bluemountains

[yellowted]

Suzzi, please do not blame this on you, you were a child, the adults let you down. they were supposed to protect and nurture you, they didn't. it is their failure not yours.
For years i blamed myself for the failure of adults, only to become seriously ill. Now I realise it was their failures not mine which led to the horrible things happening, my heart and head are at peace with myself. I still have unanswered questions, but realise and accept i will never get the answers i need because those who hold them are the irresponsible bxxxxds who let these things happen in the first place.
be kind to yourself, you are better than they are. by blaming yourself you are letting the torture continue, break the cycle, place the blame where it truly belongs and win, you are a survivor.

[Uthia]

Originally Posted by suzzie

why would a dad..

* keep taking you to his friend knowing he would r**** every time
* just sit there and watch his friend r**** you
* let his friend take you to a room r**** you
* want to do the same too you
* act like it was nothing/normal
* let it go on for years
* and his friend want to do this to a child

maybe because i let them..

A sick and twisted human being would do this. This was not because you let them, you were a child. With no one around to protect you or stop it.
He belongs is prision. You could still have time to get an attorney and put him where he can't hurt any other child. It would be healing to you. Hard but what is right by law and justice. I think you have until you are 25 years old to press charges of CSB. This would include all of his "friends". I hope you have the support of a therapist. This is criminal and he would go away for a long time in the statues are still in effect. You we an innocent child who was victimized and your innocents, trust and safety were violated. You are a victim. I am so sorry, my heart hurts for you. I would love to prosicute this bastard and help you do it! It angers me so much. Sick sub-human man and others should be in criminal prision. Work on thinking about the fact that you are not in this place anymore. You have power to do something. If not one way, the other. There are many ways for justice including activisim. All my prayer and good thoughts

[Uthia]

Originally Posted by Uthia

A sick and twisted human being would do this. This was not because you let them, you were a child. With no one around to protect you or stop it.
He belongs is prision. You could still have time to get an attorney and put him where he can't hurt any other child. It would be healing to you. Hard but what is right by law and justice. I think you have until you are 25 years old to press charges of CSB. This would include all of his "friends". I hope you have the support of a therapist. This is criminal and he would go away for a long time in the statues are still in effect. You we an innocent child who was victimized and your innocents, trust and safety were violated. You are a victim. I am so sorry, my heart hurts for you. I would love to prosicute this bastard and help you do it! It angers me so much. Sick sub-human man and others should be in criminal prision. Work on thinking about the fact that you are not in this place anymore. You have power to do something. If not one way, the other. There are many ways for justice including activisim. All my prayer and good thoughts

Keep in touch with me, I want to know what you can do to heal. I am very resorceful and an adcocate for child abuse. My daughter was abused to, CSA. I understand how confusing all of it can be to the abused.

[notz]

(((((((((((((((suzzie))))))))))))))))

A sick and twisted human being would do this. This was not because you let them, you were a child. With no one around to protect you or stop it. ~Uthia

You had no choice. It was not you, it was them.

[suzzie]

how could he just watch. and do nothing. im trying to understand. it makes no sense. he was right there. but i was alone anyway. maybe he thought i wanted/liked it.

[Cotton ball]

(((Suzzie))) please don't do this to yourself. It was not your fault, not your choice and NOT ok!! Trying to rationalize predators behaviors is and can be so detrimental to your well being. Its painful and I'm so very sorry you are going through this.

[Luce]

Suzzie, one of the things I did as part of my own healing was to read a book that was written by a psychologist who worked with sex offenders. It gave me so much insight into why sex offenders do what they do, and the most powerful healing came from understanding that a huge part of why sex offenders do what they do is because they have little or no empathy for others, and because they are selfish. That's all. They have an urge and they don't care about what impact their behavior will have on others. They do care about possible consequences to themselves, however, and will usually intimidate, threaten or otherwise terrify their victims into silence.
So basically it is most likely that your father and his friend did this to you because of THEIR need for sex / power/ domination or whatever. That they did it to *you* is likely simply because you were a child they had access to.
It was never about you, or anything you did or said or wanted or didn't want. Some men - unfortunately all too many, my own father and his friends incuded - are like that and will 'use' (abuse) any child/ren available to them to satisfy their own needs, without any regard whatsoever for the well being of the children.
It was ALWAYS about them. ALWAYS because of them. Always.

[Open Eyes]

suzzie, both posters have good advice here, because first you want to make sure that you don't beat yourself up while working through this. But the other thing to make sure that you remember is that abusers are the ones with the problems. I had to really work on this myself and it is hard to understand. You are obviously an empathetic person and you know this was wrong. But people who use and abuse have things about them that are deep issues, their problems. And yes many abusers simply do not care at all or truely feel guilty for what they do to their vicitims.

And there are all kinds of abuse and neglegence that takes place between human beings. Some abusers are actually victims themselves and take their anger out on other people.

I am so sorry that you had to endure this. But always remember, none of this is your fault and not all people abuse.

((((Gentle Kind and Caring Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[roads]

Originally Posted by suzzie

how could he just watch. and do nothing. im trying to understand. it makes no sense. he was right there. but i was alone anyway. maybe he thought i wanted/liked it.

They were two sick men with sick needs to force their control on someone helpless. He cared about satisfying his friend, it had nothing to do with you. He wasn't concerned with you, just his friend.

You were ALONE and helpless.

You had no choice, suzzie. It was never you, it was them.

(((((((( suzzie ))))))))

Roadie

[needfixing]

it was never your fault, shame on your dad and his so called friends.
first of all you need to tell someone what's going on, like the police, or child services who can get you out of this hell that you live in.
second do you have family that can take care of you? and third be safe.

[Sannah]

Suzzie, I can just imagine you as a child looking at your dad and trying to figure out why he was doing this. Children always come to the conclusion that they must deserve what is happening.

I'll bet 100% that your dad was sexually abused as a child. Many people who were abused as children would never hurt another person ever but there are those who go on to abuse others as a way to deal with what happened to them. There thinking is that the only way to not be a victim is to be a perpetrator. This does not excuse his behavior in any way.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you Suzzie. You deserved to be taken care of by a healthy parent.

[torn2020]

Originally Posted by suzzie

why would a dad..

* keep taking you to his friend knowing he would r**** every time
* just sit there and watch his friend r**** you
* let his friend take you to a room r**** you
* want to do the same too you
* act like it was nothing/normal
* let it go on for years
* and his friend want to do this to a child

maybe because i let them..

You were not at fault Suzzie, I used to think the same thing but we can't all be at fault. My dad didn't just CSB me but my sister & possibly brother too, he also violated my cousin, aunt, & I think 1 of my friends. He & others like him are the ones at fault, they should have they man hood cut off. I am here if you ever need to just talk, you will be in my prayers & I have to believe that these awful creatures that do these things, their time will come, GOD WILL NOT EXCEPT THEM. It has been a long road from when it happened to me & some days I really get mad & feel so much hate but I now know I am not alone & hope we can all help each other deal with these evils.