[Bathony]

I was just informed that my brother who sexually abused me has a 2-months-old daughter. I don't know if he married the baby's mother and I don't know her name or their whereabouts. All I know they live in my hometown, population: 107,146. I tried to find him on facebook but in vain. So, I know the baby might be in danger but I can't do anything. My 'friend' attacked me for not telling the truth right now, now now now! Never mind she would not believe, he might punish me, they can tell everyone about my 'lies' and I could be labelled as a stalker- of course, I don't deserve any support or compassion. Never mind no one saved me. I'm pissed off, also because I can't enjoy being an aunt. I wish this baby was never born. And I can't be part of her life- her ****ed-up father would separate her from me, guess why. It's just one more evidence that confirms everyone's against me.

[Bathony]

never mind, no one read this anyway, I'm not umportant enough for you, fine

[Puffyprue]

((((((((((((((Bathony)))))))

[Open Eyes]

((((Bathony)))),

Oh sweetheart, just because you didn't get an answer right away doesn't mean people are not willing to reach out. Sometimes a thread can get moved away from the board and not get noticed. It can be replaced by another thread where a conversation is taking place already. Often times people don't just check the forum, they go and check their statistics and what they posted to see if they got an answer, that is the first thing I do. So something new can go un-noticed. But it is not done on purpose.

I am sorry that you are going through this, I can't blame you for being concerned that this child may be in danger because your brother abused you. You say he is living in your home town but you can't find him? Maybe he is renting and only uses cell phones or the residence is in his wifes name for some reason.

Maybe you could contact Childrens Family services and talk to them about your concerns, maybe they might have a way of locating your brother better. His wife most likely has no idea of his past. Often people don't want to believe this takes place, but it DOES TAKE PLACE more often then we realize.

You could call annonymously and talk about your concerns and see if they have some advice.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[haier]

bathony i believe you. you do matter, and us here we do care. you do deserve to be heard and cared. i'm so sorry there was nobody to protect you when you were being hurt, it was wrong and you did NOT deserve that. you're friend doesn't sound very understanding, it's not you it's you friend who's wrong. i'm so sorry.
you know, i don't know if this helps, my stepfather abused me and i told and it didn't help any. he never served a day in jail. nothing. sometimes telling doesn't really do anything. i'm sorry. i've been in your situation, i still my stefather, my mom is still with him, he's always around kids but i had to learn and understand i did what i could, his actions are not my responsibility. you do not have to take responsibility for something HE is. especially if it is unsafe for you to do so. i'm so sorry you are struggling. i'm here for you, please keep posting. you are important.

[Sannah]

Bathony, it can take a day before a post is answered. Somedays I cannot come here at all and other days I can only come once.

It sounds like you were really triggered by this news, your friend and then when your post didn't get answered for a while.

How are you doing today?

[Chibi-Akutenshi]

I understood how you feel a little bit. My niece is going through the same life I lived...Her mother is my sister, the only one of my family who ever showed me any caring, has grown up into her mother...I took care of her and my nephew almost completely. Especially my nephew who was always neglected by her. Even though I'm an adult I have no financial well being...I have not been to even see them let alone offer them some support and let them know they are cared for and loved. I wish I could say it gets easier or offer some comfort, but honestly, the only thing you can do is to remember you're only human and it's something even care at all.

There types of forums can be nerve racking. You don't get an answer back and you feel even more like no one cares for you. Especially when you hear such horrible news, when you need someone more than anything. I have been on that side of things before. I'm sorry I was unable to offer any words sooner.

[Mayflower7]

HI BATHONY,
If feeling very concerned about your niece, I would phone child welfare/ child protection. So they can investigate and provide ongoing support etc for the family and monitor the situation. Is it not possible to try at maybe resolving any differences with your brother, or at least visit and be a part of your niece's life? Very difficult circumstances, has this triggered memories for yourself?
Are you currently in counselling? Maybe a option depending on how you feel about it. Please don't blame yourself, or think your bad or anything not your fault what happened to you. Sometimes in forums it might take a little while for replies, everybody cares so much, your not alone.
TAKE CARE
KATE