I recently celebrated my Birthday (sunday) and it was me and a few of my friends, as the night drug on the conversation turned to childhood and in my buzzed state i just blurted out I had been molested. My partner whipped her head around at me as to say , OMG why would you say that. It made me feel embarrassed and ashamed, my partner said that I probably made them uncomfortable. So they next day I wrote all of them apologizing for the disclosure. They all responded that it was ok, no worries, yet I spent the entire day in bed depressed yesterday, as my partner made me feel as though I did something terribly wrong. Its just part of my story and we were sharing. Now I feel like a foul and shes afraid people will pity me. Why did her reaction hurt me so badly? If they all said its ok, why cant i believe them and not her. ugh....

[Butterflies Are Free]

I am not sure why your partner reacted the way she did but you did nothing wrong. Reactions like that are why so many of us "hide" or choose not to share. I really think that some people(maybe your partner?) do not know how to deal with information like this and can sometimes be very insensitive. Unless you are a survivor, I think it is hard for people to know just how terrible it is. I hope you are not too hard on yourself - sharing can be very healing if you find supportive people. Your partner's reaction is not about you, it is about her. She seems to be more concerned for herself than she does about you. I have found safe people to share with and I have chosen not to share with people who don't seem to be able to offer support. You are an amazing person with a lot of courage and I would like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY as well as encourage you to remain true to yourself.

[Sanada]

Her reaction is not a surprise to me. On a birthday a lover just wants the best for us. So a bad memory brought up (esp one so sensitive) can be like dropping a bomb shell.
Dont worry about her reaction. It sounds like she wanted to protect you on your birthday (not the guests) the excuse of making people feel uncomfortable is a valid point. But its 'your day', and she probably would want to forget about such a thing on 'your' birthday' then hug you lots later. (24 hours is not too much to ask.)

Take good care. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND......."Happy Birthday"

[critterlady]

Her reaction hurt you so badly because she isn't supporting you in something that's really difficult and important for you. I'm sorry she reacted that way - you don't deserve that. You deserve love, compassion, and support. You did nothing wrong in telling your friends.

My T is always telling me that sharing our experience (at least in general terms) with friends can often bring us closer to people. They often feel honored to have us share something so significant with them. I know when I told my best friend, it definitely changed our relationship for the better. We have a deeper friendship now than we ever did before.