[minefield]

Hello,

I have been following a link thread on safety as this is the very first question the book makes you address. It has tormented me for weeks as I have not been able to think of a single time I felt safe not in the true sense of the word.

I have now worked out what I can write but the answer has now plummeted me into a depression.

I love the countryside or anywhere of natural beauty and the thrill and exhaustion felt reaching the top of a mountain and looking out at the view and feeling small. I know it has felt wonderful and I was not even thinking about safety in those moments feeling far away from mankind and the scars man leaves behind.

I slipped a disk in my spine mountain biking and now ontop of all the mental distress I also have limited mobility so there is no chance I can physically make it to a place such as this. I so desperately crave to be safe and after weeks of soul searching the only thing I can come up with is something I will never again be able to do, I will never have that again.
I am scared silly about this book, I am already clutching onto life by my finger nails as I can not see any point there is nothing left for me even if I were able to restore my body and mind to my ownership.

Would any of you like to work through the questions?

I could post the questions and the jist of the commentary.

I am not sure I feel safe to do this without another keeping check of my distorted thinking and I thought maybe one of you may feel the same, no worries if not it was just an idea. If you like the idea then let me know or PM me if you prefer to keep it out of public commentary.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I have the workbook and have done certain sections - I would love to work through it with you. If the safety part seems to hard, you could start with another section.

[notablackbarbie]

*peeks in again*
ok...so ive come back to this post about 4 times this past weekend....ive heard about the book and the concepts being discussed before, although i don't have a copy myself...
*inhales and exhales*
Yes, i will join you both in working through some of the questions...not sure what is being brought up right now/why i feel this way, but it seems important to take this opportunity to address more of these issues...

to everyone else here:

[minefield]

[quote=notablackbarbie;2497165]*peeks in again*
ok...so ive come back to this post about 4 times this past weekend....
it seems important to take this opportunity to address more of these

Hello,

This is great news, your right this feels like such a big decision I have had the book for a few weeks now and have only just been able to start. I went through the first chapter last night and I have been stunned how it has hit me like a lead balloon. It feels so dangerous to do isolated and alone, plus I have been stumped and dissociated loads while addressing the questions so to have support of people struggling in all different ways offers such an opportunity to learn from each other either our mistakes or ways which work.

Total firm pat on the back for not giving up that was really brave of you to keep poking at it and questioning yourself like that. Welcome aboard I hope your stregth will encourage anyone else who may be struggling to say hello

I will post a starter by this evening UK time, so you can have something straight away and you don't lose the momentum but I thought I would start a different thread for each chapter so it does not get confusing and people can do whatever chapter they want once I have got a few down.

It’s just thinking about how it can be easily linked if any of the users who have any ideas better than separate threads please can you PM me.

I would however like to warn who ever reads the post tomorrow the questions may and will trigger be safe and make sure you are alone, comfortable take time to take a chunk out of your day the world cannot intrude as you need space and ability to think, reflect, challenge and be honest with yourself privacy so you can allow yourself to react and respond in whatever way you are able.

[minefield]

Here we go: CREATING SAFETY
As you begin work through these questions, it is good to get an idea of where you are in the healing process. Think of statements that apply to you: ( below are the options I picked from the book)
Just started having memories
Don’t remember specifics but know it happened
I have always remembered the abuse, I am just thinking about how it affected me
I want to deal with these issues, but don’t know where to begin
I am feeling desperate and hopeless; the questions won’t make a difference
Looking for affirmation of how far I have come working on my issues
Someone suggested I give it a go
Buying this book terrifies me

CREATING SAFETY
Have you ever felt safe:
Yes No or Not Sure
If Yes, describe one time you felt safe:
What about this experience made you feel safe?
If you have not experienced feeling safe, describe some feeling or beliefs that have kept you from feeling safe.
E.g people hurt me, I can’t depend on anyone, I don’t know what it is to know if I have felt it.
For me to feel safe, I would need:
When I consider the possibility of feeling safe in the world I:

Things to think about:
Can I conceive of feeling safe? Why or why not?
Do I deserve to feel safe? Why or why not?
Let us know once you have answered the questions and what problems you had. I struggled loads with this one and got really angry because I was finding it impossible and was failing at the first question. It took me a few weeks but I have just completed the first chapter and now it makes sense to lead with this.
Just shout up if it starts to drive you mad.