I always wondered about this...

Sundance, you are such a strong woman, a fighter...
I'm not sure what you are "wanting" to hear as someone said, and I doubt that no matter what answer you hear that you will EVER put this behind you.
These memories will last on in your mind, but you know as well as I, that they don't have to control you.
You know enough about the psychology to know that after a rape/molestation/abuse etc. there is always so much guilt involved...should you have done this or that?
There are so many lies that are thrown our way after abuse...do not cling to them.
Are there things we could have done differently? Perhaps. Does that make it your fault? NO!
A definitive answer? Rape=against your will. If you "gave in" as you say, (I'm not an expert) it's consent, but without knowing all the details hard to judge.
Sounds like he was controlling, manipulative etc., if you were underage, then it doesn't matter if you "gave in" or not, as you weren't an adult to be making that decision.
Just my thoughts, and my sincerest wish for you to work through this also.
Blessings of peace for today, and hope for another day.
Jon