[peaches100]

***TRIGGER***

I live in Colorado, and I'm feeling really triggered by the little girl, Jessica, who went missing almost a week ago on her way to school. Ever since it happened, it has been on my mind. I've been hoping so badly that they would find her unharmed. A day or so after she disappeared, they found her backpack and water bottle about 6 miles from where she disappeared. Then late Wednesday, they found a body in an open space. They are trying to identify it now to see if it is her.

It always triggers me so much when a child is abducted and then found murdered. Most often, SA is involved. As a child, I was SA by a neighbor. Although my abuser wasn't violent (he posed more as a father figure), any kind of childhood SA that is in the news triggers me. It reminds me of how perpetrators deceive little kids and play on their emotions to get them under their control, and then abuse and hurt them. When I hear about abductions of children who are SA and then murdered, it also gives me chills, because I had that same trusting nature as a kid that led to my abuse. I could have easily ended up as a statistic myself.

Anyway, it's just making me sick hearing about this. I'm pretty sure the body they found is going to be her, and i am hoping so badly it isn't.

[lynn P.]

(((peaches100))) - I can certainly understand how this is triggering you and this would bother anyone with a heart. Its more intense when it happens nearby and to a child. I can never understand why anyone would do this and my heart aches for her family and friends. This is one thing that would end me as a parent.

I'm so sorry you were abused and can totally understand how badly this must trigger you. I have 2 daughters (10 and 14) and its sad we parents have to worry about crimes/predators like this. Do you have a T to share this with and perhaps not watching the news would be better for you. Hugs to you.

[beauflow]

Peaches and Lynn I hear you..
It's very upsetting, on many levels

It upsets me maybe on a different level too that we live in a world that has things like this.....

and just.... upsetting
Idk if any can understand fully my thought here and if I can explain it well, but I had a toddler say hi to me the other day, I said hi back and bye as I left and waving like a big kid.....
I give this little girl false environment setting..... I know I shouldn't feel bad for being kind and nice but still it makes me think a little....

I am sadden by the fact parents have to tell their kids to beware of strangers.... Though very much needed in this World....

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((peaches))))

Thank you for posting and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Every time I see something about a child in the news I am triggered and shut down to a silence that many do not understand and trying to explain it is just too much and too hard. Feels like I hold my breath and cannot breath, feeling a heaviness on my chest that will not go away.

Seeing so much as a child, and being abused as a child makes it even more real. Often taken in the night when the world was sleeping brings back so much for me. Still hearing the silent screams inside, never knowing for sure, and wondering if morning would ever come. My heart aches and my emotions fill me with unending terror.

Feeling something deep inside when the word comes back they found them, somehow connecting to their last feelings, their fears, and their pain on a level I cannot explain. Even though I am alive, some part of me died long ago and it is there that something inside screams knowing and understanding. That fear of never knowing for sure, always waiting, and an understanding not for myself but of what they went through.

I know I am not making sense but inside I am, and I am broken. I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel, I validate those feelings for you, and I am so sorry you ever went through SA and abuse to know these feelings. You never deserved it, and my heart goes out to you. Children do not know to be not trusting, they are taught that. It is so sad.

Peaches, I could have and should have been a statistic too, should not be here today, but there is a reason and even though I do not know that reason yet, I am holding onto that belief the best I can. I believe that for you too. I am so sorry and my heart cries for what you went through and how you feel. I do hope that you have someone to talk about this with. You deserve to be heard, to be validated, and to know you did not deserve what you went through.

Please just know that you are not alone, that we care, and are here for you. Please keep reaching out and allowing yourself to be heard, and to feel what you are feeling. It was never your fault and it never should have happened. I do care and I am listening. I send you many gentle hugs and loving thoughts if okay. Always.

dps

[purple_fins]

I'm sorry this is upsetting so much for you I can sure understand how it could I'm so sorry that man- your neighbor, betrayed your trust and you were so hurt.

I get really upset inside self around this kind of event also.(to make it bad in this case, I grew up near the area Jessica disappeared from! yipes) I was held against will several times,(when 6years old and 8 years old-- it's so so upsetting to be held against will-- that feeling of total powerlessness---uugggggg) one of the times -- with a gun to my back. When I was 10 I was walking with a neighbor girl and a guy drove up and asked if we'd like a ride-- he had his pants unzipped with *that* showing.... we ran away and were lucky he didn't follow us. I knew by 10 NOT to help/accept anything from adults.
I bet this girl knew not to go with anyone too-- I have a feeling she was forced. This day and age there is so much support kids are given to not go with strangers-- by 10 I'd think they would know not to. It was different back in the 70's and 80's-- there was not the public announcements and teachings that there are now.

Poor girl-- I keep hoping and wishing with all my heart that she returns home-- please

It is very upsetting-- you're certainly not alone in having upset feelings.

best to you,
fins

[lynn P.]

I just read an article put up by Newsbot and this case is so disturbing. I won't put any details since I don't want to trigger anyone further. My heart is heavy for her family. friends and anyone who's feels pain over this terrible crime. I wonder how does a person become so terrible to hurt anyone but especially a child? I pray they find this person.

[JLarissaDragon]

I have cousins in the Denver area and read their reactions on Facebook. I just can't imagine what kind of sick person would do that to a child. It breaks my heart as well. Our kids are vulnerable and need our protection

[Mama Char-Lee]

It messed with me really bad as well. I feel so bad for the parents, and I feel horrified at what she had to go through before it was over with. I shouldn't watch the news, because I started getting the shakes when I heard what had happened. Bad, bad, bad.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((peaches))))

Just wanted to check to see how you are doing. My heart is just broken and when I saw the news the other night tears started streaming out of my eyes uncontrollable. Something inside me was silently screaming and somewhere I felt as if I was losing myself all over again.

My heart goes out to her family, her friends, and to all here who are effected by this. I can hear within that terror once known, that feeling of total aloneless, inside screaming silently "help" and that utter fear of no one to hear me. I cannot say anything else but just wanted to say my heart is heavy. No tears could fall to express the sadness and feelings going through my heart.

Just wanted to send out hugs to all here.

dps

[gma45]

I too feel so sad over this. I pray they find the monster that did this. I have grandkids and it is just so scary to think what kind a world they are having to grow up in.