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#1
Sep 17, 2012, 04:05 PM
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 From the age of 4 to 12 I was molested by maternal grandfather. It is over 30 years later and the flashbacks have been coming to me for the last 5-7 years. Throughout my adult life, I have not been able to have a normal realtionship and I always picked the men that had drug and/or alcohol problems, maybe so I could run away. These men were abusive and I accepted it. Just as my grandfather abused my grandmother. For the last 2-3 years I do not want anything to do with sex, as I am afraid I will have a flashback while being intimate. I used to see a counselor but she closed my case, due to conflict of interest with my education, but I never disclosed this information to her.
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 Anonymous47147, Ardmore, autumnleaves, BrokenNBeautiful, Open Eyes, Sannah, shezbut, zolag3
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 autumnleaves, BrokenNBeautiful
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#2
Sep 17, 2012, 04:19 PM
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(((lolathecat))),
I am so sorry that you experienced this as a child. Children just don't understand how to deal with abuse and these kinds of invasions really, they just don't have the knowledge or understanding. You need to find a good therapist that you can work with so that you can see how this effected the way you think and react to others, in relationships and to your self. You can learn to work through this and reclaim your life by understanding how this experience effected you and why you have chosen the relationships you chose. It doesn't have to be a burden to you the rest of your life, you "can" actually grow past it, with help and new ways to shape your thinking processes. (((Hugs))) Open Eyes |
| lolathecat, Sannah
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#3
Sep 17, 2012, 07:11 PM
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I hear you. Ad i understand so well. But it doesnt have to ruin your whole life. You are. Ot doomed to a bad life because of what happened to you as a child. I know because i have been able to move on...if i can manage it, i know anyone can.
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| WhiteCruelty
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| pbutton
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#4
Sep 26, 2012, 06:41 AM
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I share so much what Sarah says. I am sorry but you have the rest of your life to live happy. Also you should go to an therapist because you must search nice men that give you love and peace. You are used to receive a bit of love. You need love. Your heart needs it.
Hugs.
__________________
Yeah how long must you wait for it? Yeah how long must you pay for it? Yeah how long must you wait for it? I was scared, I was scared Tired and under prepared But I wait for it |
| BrokenNBeautiful
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#5
Sep 27, 2012, 08:00 PM
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I have most definitely felt this way before. For me, the abuser was my older sister. Incest certainly has a large impact on one's life.
__________________
"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
| BrokenNBeautiful
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#6
Sep 28, 2012, 03:43 AM
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It really does ruin you. I know.
Even though I cannot see a therapist, it's still good to know that life can still be good anyway, after breaking that pattern. I sure hope I can, too. Broken
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#7
Sep 28, 2012, 04:19 AM
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I understand
Can you get back into counselling? Trust is a big issue for me. 
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#8
Sep 28, 2012, 11:28 PM
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Quote:
And I make too little money for private t. Also too many therapists have re-victimzed me. Broken
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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