[Bathony]

Regardless of whether or not you feel guilty, I want to warn you. Do not ever believe when someone tells you this sacred phrase: 'this is not your fault'. they never mean that. They always think you're guilty.

My ex friend Magda blames me for the hypothetical sexual abuse of my niece. I don't know my brother's whereabouts or the name of the baby's mother. There's no way of contacting her. But yeah, it's my fault. That accusation hurt me so much I couldn't think clear for some time. It took me some time to realise she used to lie to me: 'it's not your fault' till it finally turned out to be my fault, after ****ing all. If she had told me what she really thinks at the very beginning, it wouldnt have hurt that much. But they always wait and make sure to hurt you really painfully. Never trust such people. Never trust anyone.

I wish her ill, I wish she suffers as much as I did.

[Leed]

TRIGGER

Honey, that's not true of everyone. This "Magda" is a very CRUEL person. I have NEVER known anyone to blame the person who was abused. NEVER. I would NEVER think to blame anyone that was, since I'm the victim of molestation myself. I don't know of anyone who blames me. Like I said, anyone who does is cruel, and there's something wrong with THEM, NOT YOU.

It's kind of like a person who blames a dog for biting them after they kick the dog! Who are you going to blame? The dog or the person who kicked the dog? A really CRUEL person is going to blame the DOG, when it's just the dogs' instinct to protect himself.

Anyone who gets abused may not fight back because they fear for their life! And even if they do, they're overpowered 99% of the time. So who's fault is it? It's certainly not the person's getting abused! It's the animal who did it!

Everyone, except a VERY CRUEL AND SICK PERSON knows it's not your fault, so this "Magda" is a very sick person Bathony. Dont believe that everyone is like her. Whe people say "this is not your fault" they MEAN it." God bless and please take care sweetie. You're not guilty in God's eyes, and that's all that counts. Hugs, Lee

[ladytiger]

people blame for my abuse while my parents are narcissus and are a saint to the public! i even had suvivors of abuse that i spoke with got the nerve to tear other victims down and tell me to endure the abuse and figure out ur parents. my therapist told me i have been trying to figure out my parents for far too long and u will never know the answer. these ppl need to stop filling your head with those lies they need to seriously take a much harder look at themselves.

i agree these ppl who call themselves survivors of abuse really need to look much harder and i think some of them who claim they resolved everything may not have really resolved everything like they like to think. they have given me such ****ed up advice that made no sense if u detest abuse why r u telling someone else to embrace it? makes no sense

[FishInABowl]

To love ourselves and have become the master of our own my is the hardest task to accomplish, but the most rewarding and envied by others.

You would like to read Buddha by Deepak Chopra. Hate and love of ourselves through his recreated life of Buddha.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I was blamed, too, not only by the person who abused me, but by my family as well.

Get this: Right before the incident, my aunt "warned" my friend (who abused me) that I was going to "seduce him!" He told me so! He goes, "Your aunt warned me that this was going to happen." My blood boils when I think about this. Man!

I wish my aunt had warned me about him, not the other ****ing way around!

That woman is sick.

And, about some of these support groups:

My friend (who is sort of an adopted sister to me) tried to kill herself because she had tried over and over and over again to get support when her abuser passed away and she got fobbed back and forth between bereavement groups and in***t groups! Either they told her it was her fault because she loved him or she was crazy to love him. Or that she was "not honoring the dead" or "forgiving her father like a good Christian griever"!

She could not win; kept getting the run around and more abuse by groups of survivors and grief groups.

She nearly took her life; my other friend got her some help finally.

She is in the hospital now. She is a decent woman who only loved and trusted her father; she was *innocent*.

It is never our fault!

Carol