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#1
Dec 21, 2012, 04:14 PM
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It's time to shut down. I just showed my husband my two recent threads in an attempt to get him to understand where I'm at and how awful this week has been for me. Know what he said?
'Are you sure something really happened? ' Doubt all over his voice  I need to shut this all away and forget it.
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
 Anonymous33425, frowny_face, Lauru, pbutton
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#2
Dec 21, 2012, 04:26 PM
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No, you certainly do not need to shut this all away or forget it. You feel what you feel and your husband is not you & it sounds like he doesn't understand.
 You are completely entitled to talk about any feelings and concerns that you have. Even if you have erroneously decided that you have green scales and a pink tail, if it is BOTHERING YOU, it is 100% your right to discuss it in therapy and with your spouse. Note: I'm not saying that you're making it up. I don't think that you are. But even if you WERE making it up just for fun, this would still be an issue that you need help addressing. My T recently asked me what I thought I'd gain by "making this up". I can't answer that. The best I've got is that it gives me an excuse for being so weird. But my "weirdness" all points to the same thing -- CSA. |
| Nelliecat
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 Nelliecat
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#3
Dec 21, 2012, 06:44 PM
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Nelliecat, I have to tell you when I read what your husband said, my response was absolute rage and to actually say out loud, "Jesus Christ what an asshole!" I think I dislike your husband worse than mine right now, and that's saying something.
 Doubting ourselves is something that happens to almost all survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We DO NOT need someone else doubting us once we finally decide to tell. Shutting it away and trying to forget it is what makes us depressed, or as pbutton says, weird. Once we address it, hopefully we can heal. Please keep trying.
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| Nelliecat
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| Nelliecat
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#4
Dec 21, 2012, 09:18 PM
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He just wishes that it didn't happen. People would rather believe that such terrible things don't happen. I think that this is why people do this possibly. Please don't give up.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Nelliecat
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| Nelliecat
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#5
Dec 23, 2012, 02:21 AM
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I think Sannah may bring up a good point. You, as his wife, are the last person on this earth he'd ever want to have suffer through this. It might be his unwillingness to want to accept it more than doubt.
I would say, however, that pbutton is absolutely, 110% correct. Ultimately, your husband, whatever his intentions may be, has no right to imply doubt. And if it helps to talk about it or seek therapy, by all means, no matter what is said, do it. The last thing you need to do is try to shove this under the rug...that never works, and harms instead of helps. Please know you're in my prayers, and I hope things work out. Hugs, Harley
__________________
The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Nelliecat
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| Nelliecat
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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