[Fuzzybear]

If you have been repetatively, persistently abused in childhood and were forced to keep quiet......

and then you are again abused and lied to/about as an adult, do you keep quiet? Or do you defend yourself, even if that means being "persistent" in your efforts to defend yourself against abuse?

Take care,
Fuzzy

((((fuzzy)))))))
honestly.. its hard for me to say.. i just know it depends for me. How important is the relationship. how much have i said already. are they likly to listen. how important is the topic of the lie to me? I dunno, but i hope you know you are cared for.

in my opinion, you defend yourself as much as possible. no human being should endure abuse, both as a child and as an adult. it is nearly impossible to defend yourself as a child, we are just not capable of it. but now you are an adult, there is nothing stopping you, stand strong and stay brave. persistance is the key here, keep at it and you will succeed, NEVER allow this to happen to you repeatedly.

take care

[mrb020377]

untill recently i have kept my mouth shut when i have been lied to... but i finally too a stand and said no more.. i do understand your feelings however.. afraid to speak up... fear of rejection..

I am here for you

For childhood, I don't remember so I can't say anything about mine.

As adult, I simply keep quiet.

I'm with mel on this one. For the longest time I just shut it out, put up the brick wall and turned away.

Slowly I am finding my voice. Started out as a whisper, then a squeak and now it's audible.

[Frozen_Heart]

Keep quiet and I hate that about myself!

[almostangela]

Well said, Petunia. It takes practice, and learning to speak out feels wonderful. Very scarey at first, but very liberating as you get better. I used to say the mantra in my head before I spoke up. "Sink or swim....I will swim"

[Frozen_Heart]

Fuzzy and others, this whole thread has hit me like a ton bricks. Just hearing the idea that abuse surviors sometimes to keep quiet or sit by and allowing unhealthy relationships continue made me realize I do that and always have. Still, I feel my voice is caged at this point. Something awful happened with the person I was dating and here I sit and feel sympathy for him. Why can't I just tell him to %#@&#! off or show him that I'm angry. I've told a few very close friends all the details of what did happen and two of them think I should call the police. Logically, I think that I should but I'm afraid but sadly, I'm not 100% sure of what I'm afraid of? What he did was unspeakable and I have taken myself out of the relationship.

Funny, this person is actually sending me text msg's this morning, asking again if we are done. For the life of me, I can't understand why I can't say YES, I do not ever want to see you again, you cannot behave that way!! But no, I'm saying 'Well I hate thinking about it all. I love you and I'm angry with myself, I'm torn'.... what a cop out!! I feel weak and frightened but OF WHAT!!!!! I'm 34 for Christ's sake!!

[Frozen_Heart]

Fuzzy- sorry for the hi-jack!!! I thought about starting a new thread but this is what prompted me to even look at my behaviour in this light.

((((((Fuzzy))))))))

[hillbunnyb]

I'm learnign how to stand up for myself with this phone company bullpucky that I'm going through. Their collections people used to scare me, now, I'm finding my voice..... it is scarey, it is liberating, it does get easier with practice. I'm pissed off and letting it show. WoWieZoWie for me.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you all for your replies! No problem at all from here with the thread "hijack"