[Silent_Tears_17]

I don't know what to do. I've been so depressed the last couple of weeks that I struggle to get out of bed. I sleep as much as possible. And it keeps getting worse. All I've wanted to do for days is disappear. It takes all my effort to just eat and get dressed and get ready. Finals are next week and I can't even begin to study. And after I have to go home to a verbal and emotional abusive environment. And I don't know what to do. I just don't know how much longer I can take this. I've lasted longer than I ever thought I could...

Hello Silent Tears: I don't know if you have a psychiatrist or therapist or are on any med's. I don't know that there are any magic answers here either. The bottom line here is that you must break the cycle. If you don't have a psychiatrist or a therapist, find someone, fast. If you do have one or both, get in to see them asap. If you're in college (it sounds like you are) there must be a student health center you could go to. You could also call a local suicide hotline, I would presume. They could probably help. Or call your local mental health association. Or you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-TALK (8255) I know that they encourage people to call for any reason. You don't have to be contemplating suicide. They're there to help & they can help get you connected with resources. If this is all just too much for you to handle at this point, ask a friend or roommate to help, or a faculty member whom you trust.

The bottom line here is that, no matter how difficult it seems, you must make the 1st move. It can be as little as picking up the phone or talking to someone in person. But you have to start the ball rolling in some way or other. The only alternative is to just curl up into a ball & wait for someone to notice. This may be an alternative, but it's certainly not the best one. My very best wishes to you!

[yellowted]

hi silent tears, listen to what bedobones is saying , it is exactly what i would say too.

you have two choices,
1. carry on as you are and let your abusers win
or
2. find it in yourself to break the cycle, fight for the grades you deserve, and show your abusers that you are different from them, that you can stand on your own two feet and better yourself without their input!

only you can chose which you want, but i suggest you aim for the second choice even if it is the more difficult to achieve because in the long term it will give you the determination you need for life.

[Silent_Tears_17]

Originally Posted by Bedobones

Hello Silent Tears: I don't know if you have a psychiatrist or therapist or are on any med's. I don't know that there are any magic answers here either. The bottom line here is that you must break the cycle. If you don't have a psychiatrist or a therapist, find someone, fast. If you do have one or both, get in to see them asap. If you're in college (it sounds like you are) there must be a student health center you could go to. You could also call a local suicide hotline, I would presume. They could probably help. Or call your local mental health association. Or you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-TALK (8255) I know that they encourage people to call for any reason. You don't have to be contemplating suicide. They're there to help & they can help get you connected with resources. If this is all just too much for you to handle at this point, ask a friend or roommate to help, or a faculty member whom you trust.

The bottom line here is that, no matter how difficult it seems, you must make the 1st move. It can be as little as picking up the phone or talking to someone in person. But you have to start the ball rolling in some way or other. The only alternative is to just curl up into a ball & wait for someone to notice. This may be an alternative, but it's certainly not the best one. My very best wishes to you!

I have two Ts, and am on low grade meds. I know I need more help I'm just trying to find my voice. I don't want anyone to know my problems and I don't want to be needy or ever need help. Right now I'm too scared to admit to even myself how suicidal and horrible I really feel. I appreciate the advice. I'll do my best to get more help.

[sophie7]

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17

I don't know what to do. I've been so depressed the last couple of weeks that I struggle to get out of bed. I sleep as much as possible. And it keeps getting worse. All I've wanted to do for days is disappear. It takes all my effort to just eat and get dressed and get ready. Finals are next week and I can't even begin to study. And after I have to go home to a verbal and emotional abusive environment. And I don't know what to do. I just don't know how much longer I can take this. I've lasted longer than I ever thought I could...

I can relate to how you are feeling as I am going through almost the same thing. I have to study for my finals too and it feels I if things are getting so overwhelming that it`s all very difficult to handle. I have been feeling depressed for long and I even went to see a psychiatrist 4 years ago. She gave me some setraline tablets but that didn`t really help much as my problems were unchanged. I have trouble talking about them face-to-face with another person even though I can pour it over here. It helps to talk to someone you can trust though...even if it takes time and it`s very hard to reveal things that hurt you so much to someone else...

My finals are in a week too and I have been struggling more than usual lately but I keep telling myself that things will work out. I try to look forward to the little positive things like a good friend coming over for a brunch. Though, I know it`s hard to face people when one is feeling down the dumps..but it`s worth the try...sometimes it makes things a tiny bit better. I also try to take things a little step at a time..
I hope you get better soon and perhaps try talking to someone whom you trust and who cares about you....I have to do that too
Take care

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am glad you shared.

sorry it's so hard for you.

Sounds like you do have some help.

PC can help, too. We understand. Not just from a book.

I know it hurts.

Carol

[Silent_Tears_17]

My mother just decided she will no longer fund any of my medical bills. Im only 17... this sucks. there goes buying a car...

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17

My mother just decided she will no longer fund any of my medical bills. Im only 17... this sucks. there goes buying a car...

That s&cks. sorry.

Carol