this is me now

having suffered sexual abuse as a child from as young as 8 that I do remember. now that i'm all grown up, I have a lot of flashbacks, and nightmares, I was always told to get over the past, stop living in the past, and cringed at for it, that even I beat my own self up for it, if I could just turn it off I would. i'm feeling really annoyed now, this subject has destroyed my life I get a hell of a lot of triggers because of this. I just don't trust anybody
I've lost myself because of this

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

You will be so much stronger from these experiences after you come out of it. In no way is dealing with your emotions a bad thing. You need to deal with them.
Anyone who thinks any less of you for it isn't worth knowing.

Much love

Ah, the old "move on and magically get over everything" advice from people who don't know what it feels like to be traumatised. If you could just get over it, you would. But sometimes it's a tall order to move on without help, support and comfort.

People are idiots. They're wrong. You take all the time you need to heal.

one of the worse things you could say to a abuse survivor is "get over it and forget" yes, we need to get over it but you can't just throw those words at someone.
maybe you should right down those nightmares and flashbacks. it helps in some ways. stay strong and good luck with it.

thank you ironbutterfly, tinyrabbit, and confused213 every day i'll keep battling along hoping to find a better happier place in me, its been uplifting to get support thank you's

God bless you love.This may sound silly,but do
try to 'soften' and speak to the child you once
were,it might surprise you and feel better.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE