[Lookupandsmile123]

I recently posted a thread saying I had spoken to the person who according to everyone, though I cant see it, sexually assualted me.
I did bring up the 'assualt', I was just asking him why he used me, etc. He answered and was awful to me calling me a 'crazy *****' when I was talking about things that made me feel very vulnerable. I then didn't answer him and started to see him as not just a knight in shining armour. But then a few days later, he messaged me first (which instantly made me feel luck that he thought I was worthy of that) then he started apologising for things and being nice to me. I asked him if the reason he stopped talking to me was because I didn't go far enough sexually... He then said he wanted us to, but he would have never have forced me. I never mentioned anything about forcing. So my boyfriend thinks it weird why he would say that? This also makes me excuse what he has done to me even more and now I feel as though I'm back to square one and hes this hero all over again. But as soon as I told him he didn't have to be sorry for hurting me (using me, etc I didn't mention the assualt), he started being really blunt again like now I said it was okay again, he didn't bother. And I feel exacatly how he made me feel two years ago... A backup plan. But I think that's fine, cause he holds all this power over me..

PLEASE what does anybody think of this?

Thank you

[A Red Panda]

Take away the power. Don't contact him. You're clearly conflicted in your thoughts towards him, and I personally would just not bother to try and sort those thoughts out, because I'll never know. All I'd know is that he did NOT make me feel good, at all, and that continued contact is just making me feel worse. Why keep adding poison into your life? You have a boyfriend, and this other guy is clearly never going to be actual friends with you - you don't trust him so there will never be anything there. Continuing contact is just salt on wounds.. you aren't going to get the answers that you want.

[blueredgrey]

Why do you think he holds power over you??

Why would you even ask a question like "if the reason he stopped talking to me was because I didn't go far enough sexually" and to which he replied that he wanted to go further?? Knowing well that you are actually seeing another guy????????

Why are you performing sexual favors for this guy?

Why did you contact him even when he called you a "crazy *****"?

Does a part of you realise that he'd be nice to you as long he gets what he wants from you but be abusive the moment he sees signs that he wouldn't get anything from you??

Do you realise that he supposedly is behaving like your "hero" ONLY because he wants to use you??

Do you understand that this guy has no respect for you? He may be laughing behind your back with his friends bragging about how he has "all the power" over you? (Sorry!!)

You'd never be able to see what others see, if you are still in touch with him and are more than willing to be used . Just cut contact for him for atleast 2 months. Try telling him that you want to be his friend but sexual favors is off the table and then see how he responds to you?

P.S - You really, really need to work on your self-esteem.

[Lookupandsmile123]

I haven't done anything sexual with him for 2 years, I just wanted answers. That's all. I would never intentionally hurt my boyfriend. Thank you for your replies though :')

[Lookupandsmile123]

I didn't talk to him about my sexual assualt I meant to say.

[blueredgrey]

Hey...pls don't cry . I guess we are very fuzzy on details.

I just want to say, MAYBE, that wasn't a sexual assault....let's consider it that way for sometime. But even then, is it right for a guy to ask for favors in return for "care" provided? If someone saves your life tomorrow and in return asks for 1 million dollars....would that be right on his part?

Good people do things without expecting anything in return.

His asking for favors is not right. You don't owe him anything. However, if you do feel like you owe him....help him back when he really, really needs it....like he's sick in hospital.

Right now, you need to cut him off contact. And let time heal. At the same time, you also have to try to move away from that incident.

Be as far as you can from this guy. Cut away the thought that he has a control over you. Only you have control over yourself.

Good luck!