[FaithisAlive]

I hope I don't repeat myself.. i know I told some of my story... I am having issues with my mom .....AGAIN I seem to go for a little while feeling okay about her.. and then it hits me...

She is a sick minded woman.... she seems to think my brothers 13 year old step daughter seduced my brother and thats why he molested her.. thats why he is in prison for molesting her. She told the first time when she was 11.. and nobody believed her so she recanted... only to tell again when she was 13.

My moms feelings about this tell me one thing..she believes that I am to blame for what my father did to me.. and thats why she was so mean to me growing up. She really treated me as if i were the other woman...which i guess in a way i was .. my father treated me as his lover....even as early as age 5.

I don't know how she can think a 5 year old deserves to be treated like some homewrecker... someone tying to steal her husband from her.. but thats how she acted.. although I didn't know it then.We have never discussed it.. she seems to think I have no memory of it...and she seems to feel there is nothing wrong with a man being "tempted" and acting on it, regardless of age.

I have decided there is nothing good that can come out of confronting her. she will only deny.. and blame me.. and I wil only have that much more to try and unravel in my mind... besides.. she is in such poor heart health that I coud never live with the guilt if a confrontation caused her to have a heart attack..

But its hard for me.. I have to limit my contact with her. .and I can't control my temper when she blames this young girl who called my brother daddy. he was the only daddy she ever knew..

I don't expect any advice or anything. I just needed to talk it out a bit is all.. thanks for being here to listen... I'm feeling pretty low right now.. and lonely..
And I guess I maybe I am having a pity-party of sorts.. I dunno.. I feel awful though...

aww faith, i was just wondering how you are, i was going to pm you shortly, but i will reply to this first.

it is not your fault what happened, you were a child. it was your dads fault entirely, as an adult he should have been able to control his "temptations", or seek help for them. what he did to you was wrong, anyone can see that. i know how well you have done by grabbing ahold of this and dealing with it, and i know you will continue to do so. you are a strong person faith. int he time ive known you, and spoken to you, ive seen you progress so much, so you are bound to feel set-backs once in a while.

faith, your mother is the one with issues, she always has been. you were an easy target as a child to blame for all the problems in her marriage, and as you have grown she has developed a habit to continue to do so. instead of looking to herself to find the problems, she finds it easier to blame others, and the easiest targets would be children. she is a very weak character. she has many issues that should have been dealt with a long time ago, and not by you. like i said, you are not to blame at all for any of what happened. we as children, especially as young as 5, cannot be held responsible for such evilness. ever.

as you are now older, and have less contact with your mother, she is now looking for a new target, and this is where your brothers step-daughter comes in. she is a child, and that is all your mums looks for to blame. she cannot blame adults because she knows they wont stand for it, but children cant do anything but to accept it and eventually they will believe it. have you tried taking your brothers step-daughter to one side and reassuring her that it isnt her fault, make her feel as though she isnt to blame.

i wish you all the best faith, and i will pm you in a minute ok.

sorry about the novel-sized post lol, just had so much to say on the matter.

speak in a short while

simon

[JustAPixie]

((((((((((( faith )))))))))))

Simon is right... your mom has the issues. Maybe she doesn't want to face the life around her? And then she comes down on you for it, it's so unfair! How hard it must be for you to lose so much...

[FaithisAlive]

The step daughter is nowhere to be found. I fear she is having a difficult time of it. I am not in touch with my brothers little girl or son either.. they have been kept from the family since everything came out.

I totally understand how the moms feel and dont' blame them for keeping their kids from being reminded.. but i miss them...

Thanks for your support guys!! I feel better now...just a slump is all that was I guess.

[mylife4him]

Hi Faith, Nice 2 meet you... sorry you are having such aweful times...
It's good to vent, get angry, cry and even laugh... all tears are good, too.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers....and remember,,,,lottsa times we may FEEL all alone, but if we believe in Him, we are never alone..... anyway, thaz how I survive this mess we call life.
Take care, hon.
Patti

There is something that my T tells me that sometimes doesnt stick, but when it does,it helps me.

She says that those actions your mother did, those attitudes she had towards you, weren't even about you. They are her issues.
I'd say the same to you. You are a good person. So sorry you didnt have the support you needed and deserved to have.