Does anyone else have this?

Do you sometimes feel like someone is behind you ready to attack you? I often do, actually it's happenning right now and even though I know no one's there I'm still scared. That sensation is so real and I just don't know how to convince myself that I'm safe...
I've already tried talking to my T about it, but there were more pressing issues at that time. I'm pretty sure it's linked in some way to some of the abuse I've been through as a child. Can't go into details as it would only upset me even more...
All I want is to be able to go to sleep without being so scared...

Yes, both when I am out and about and at times when I am home. I wish I could tell you how to ease the anxiety from it, but I don't know.

This is one of those things I am hoping goes away eventually (overall, my anxiety/jumpiness level has gone down over the years of "getting better")...it's part of being hypervigilant, which is pretty common for trauma survivors. (yay)

Medication helps me to sleep. (I know that sounds terrible, but it's better than being exhausted all the time.) I had to tell my current T that I didn't want him to walk behind me in the hallway.

I didn't know about hypervigilance, but just read about it and can totally relate. Some of the symptoms have lessenned over the years, but this one is still an almost daily occurence.

My Pdoc was thinking about giving my some meds to sleep, but her reasoning for not doing it is that I don't look that tired when in session. She's right about that one but it's only because I work part time and catch up a lot of sleep during the day. I should start working full time soon and have no idea how I will able to deal with it.

Yes, I do. When I'm walking outside and I think someone is behind me I feel the adrenalin pumping through me, my heart starts racing, I start shaking and I feel sick to my stomach. It happens all the time-even when I try to anticipate it. It's something that I've experienced throughout my life but I didn't understand it until the last few years when I realized that I had PTSD from past abuse and from being raped. It never fails to amaze me how many things that were "just" a part of my life that turned out to be symptoms of PTSD. At least I now know what is going on with me and why. Still trying to get to that next phase where I can actually reduce some of these debilitating experiences.

I used to have when walking outside, but I'm better with it. Now it's mainly when I'm lying in bed or if I'm really stressed that day.

I really hate this feeling.... It's past midnight here, I've tried to sleep for over an hour, but no matter what I do I feel like someone's ready to attack me. I know my T doesn't want me to but I'd really like to use some Ativan to help me calm down. I'll keep trying not to use it for another hour or so, but I don't think I can handle much more...

Why doesn't your T want you, to use Ativan??

I don't quite have the same experience, but after a recent traumatic event, I've been prone to look over my shoulder, especially, when about to pull out of my parking spot. I find myself, scanning crowds, when in various locations.

What type of therapy, if aware, is your T using, to help with this trauma reaction?

I'd imagine, Ativan, was prescribed for a reason, is this, not your reason?

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My T is also my Pdoc, and no I was never prescribed Ativan by her or anyone else... but she knows that I always keep one of my mom's pills in bedroom to use if I really can't calm down. Obviously she's not really happy about it, but with this scenario it only happens 3-4 times/year.
We both know that if I had Ativan precribed and readily available I would abuse it and end up with one more addiction.

I also suffer from BPD, and as she didn't have enough patients for a proper skills group we've been doing some modified DBT for two years now. The proper skills group finally started last week. But to be honest until now the goal was for me to become stable enough to be able to work on my trauma, we've barely scratched the surface and probably won't do more for a while.

I made it through the night without Ativan, so proud of myself! First time ever I decline an invitation to unlimited free alcohol and don't end up turning to something else to numb the pain!

yes it happens all the time its crazyy

Congrats Jordy!! That's a great step forward. In the future you can always remind yourself of this night "I've made it before, I can make it again!"

thank you! I hope I will be able to remember it when needed. But at least now I know I can make it!

I hate feeling like this! It's horrible I'm always scared of getting hurt/followed I wish I knew how to stop it myself!!