[GirlOfManyFaces]

Three days ago I had a softball game against my old school. And in the stands there he was... I am the pitcher and didn't see him at first. But then I threw a bad pitch and I heard his voice say "come on, don't let it pitch like that" and I started to tear up. But I had to keep going. My body would in shock after I knew he was there. So I had trouble playing and I asked coach if I could more to left field. But when I did. HE was on the other side I the fence throwing a baseball around. And the whole time he was making comments about me. An calling me IT.
I am just now able to function again. All the pain e caused me is coming back. All the memories I've suppressed are back. I can physically feel him touch me. But he isn't. I'm so scared. Hearing his voice and seeing him... I just can't handle it. I've SI'ed a lot in these past few days because I don't know what else to do

Please help me!
I have no one else to ask for help.
I need a solution because the only thing I can think of is permanent

[Harley47]

Hi Girl.

I am so sorry...I don't have words to express how...vile...this guy is to do something like what he did, and then to add this to it. His action, both past and current, to me speak of something deeply rooted in his psyche... referring to you as"it" is his way of dehumanizing the person he has wronged to feel better about his actions. If he can't see you as human, it doesn't seem so bad on his end. It's wrong, of course, but...that's the "logic" behind it.

As far as you go, YOU are NOT an it. You never have been nor will you ever be. You are a human being, and thus deserving of the love and basic respect that should be afforded to all people. You are BETTER than a mere "it," FAR better. I would submit that if anyone here could be labeled as an "it," it's him...in my eyes he let go of his humanity a long time ago in doing what he did to you, but that's perhaps my anger towards him speaking.

I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. You have survived one of the most heinous things one person can do to another, but you're here, doing all you can to try to move past it. If anything, that at the very least speaks to me of an incredible courage on your part. You should be proud Girl...no, things aren't easy in moving past it. I doubt they will be. But you're trying...that mere fact shows a great deal of strength, certainly more than this...parasite...at your softball game has or will ever had. You're better than him...granted, I've scraped things off my shoes better than him, but you're a strong, courageous person doing their best to move past something of such a magnitude. For that, in showing such monumental effort...you have my respect, now as ever.

In regards to your solution...the only thing I can say to that is that such a thing only robs you of the opportunity for things to improve. You deserve better than that. Have you anyone you can talk to if you feel like that is becoming...tempting, I suppose? Parents? Teachers? Friends? Guidance counselor? At the very least, I would offer that if you need anyone to talk to, you're always welcome to PM me at any time. I'll respond as quickly as I can, but I can't offer immediate feedback all the time thanks to classes. That's my only reservation there...otherwise, I welcome hearing from you.

Don't let him get to you Girl...his opinion is worth as much as he is. Less than nothing.

Hugs Girl. Know you're in my prayers.

Hugs,
Harley

[sandersdillion948]

I would immediately call the police and get a restraining order on this person. Things will only get worse, as long as you feel the way you do, he wins. Don't let him win! I spent 6 years letting mine win! take legal action and get rid of this bastard asap, he is trash, god will judge him, until then he should not have the right to be anywhere near you. You are no it, that is him talking to himself out loud, he is calling himself IT, that is what is called projection. People say to you what they think about themselves, you are none of the things he says about you. To him, you do not exist as a person because he is a sociopath, he is trying to dehumanize you, that is what sociopaths do, but the fact is, his brain doesn't function right, literally, his wiring is all messed up, and all you can do it protect yourself with the law.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by sandersdillion948

I would immediately call the police and get a restraining order on this person. Things will only get worse, as long as you feel the way you do, he wins. Don't let him win! I spent 6 years letting mine win! take legal action and get rid of this bastard asap, he is trash, god will judge him, until then he should not have the right to be anywhere near you. You are no it, that is him talking to himself out loud, he is calling himself IT, that is what is called projection. People say to you what they think about themselves, you are none of the things he says about you. To him, you do not exist as a person because he is a sociopath, he is trying to dehumanize you, that is what sociopaths do, but the fact is, his brain doesn't function right, literally, his wiring is all messed up, and all you can do it protect yourself with the law.

Unfortunately his mother is a cop and because I'm younger the law says I'm lying... Police did not take action in this case or in the other case when my father beat me and they came to my house. And he still got away with it

The law is never in my favour. Im just a "kid who doesn't want to be in trouble" or "just getting a spanking".

[kracker]

I'm so sorry you had to endure this. I can related.. I was abused too. Do you have friends or family who are supportive?

[nicoleflynn]

Can you get into therapy?

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by kracker

I'm so sorry you had to endure this. I can related.. I was abused too. Do you have friends or family who are supportive?

No. I don't have anyone other than people on PC

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Can you get into therapy?

No I can't.

[Ultra Darkness]

Is it so wrong that I feel a strong desire to punch this guy in the face? I don't normally approve of violence, but people like that are the exception. His treatment of you really makes me mad.

Times like this make me wish we lived near each other so I could give you a real hug...

[Mysterious Flyer]

If you own a baseball bat, then I could think of something you could do to make yourself feel better, and he would go away. I mean if he's following you around and tormenting you.