[bailey2014]

Im not sure where to start.
First off, my childhood wasnt the best. My mom is an undiagnosed manic depressive. We as children were verbally abused constantly. I was called fat in every term, every name in the book. My father has attempted suicide twice, most recently on April 2nd by stabbing himself in the stomach twice. He almost died from complications, but he was saved by being transferred to a better hospital via helicopter.

My father is married to a woman that needs help. Doctors dont help her they have heard her cry wolf too many times. She has a horrific personality. Im scared for my father to return to that house. I will make sure that he is taken care of, that is not my concern right here.

My mother did not visit the hospital ONCE. She has cried verbal abuse and even called the hospital and said the reason she was not visiting him - saying he would abuse her if she went there and that hes not a good person. My dad never was mean to us kids. he was and is a good dad.

I took the responsibility of going to the hospital, making decisions, buying mother groceries, and making sure she was ok.

My dad is improving. My husband and I decided to put a deposit down on a new build house that is slated to start next June. We told her like it was happy news, dads getting better as well. She kicked me and my husband out of her home.

She then called my work, and sounded incoherent. I called 911, i thought she was hurt. She then called back sounding as normal as ever, calling me a nothing but a loser (kept repeating herself), said that im a user (not sure how, I didnt ask nor intend on asking for money) and that im out of her will, never contact her again. She threatened to blackmail me with lies that never came out of my mouth.

I didnt do anything wrong. She was so hurtful. This is what she really thinks of me. I am just at a loss. I understand she is trying to cope herself, but her verbal abuse is enough to just drive me to the edge. Im going through enough. She is calling everyone in the family, making accusations, fighting.

Is it acceptable for me to cut her out of my life?

[Verity81]

Yes it is acceptable, you don't have to live the rest of your life taking this abuse. I had to cut my mother off over 2 years ago due to her lies, name calling and emotional blackmail. You might want to look up going no contact with abusive parents in Google as there are a lot of good articles on the subject

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[Mysterious Flyer]

I had to cut off all contact with my mom. It was the only way to make the nightmares stop. She called me one day out of the blue, and BAM. Nightmares all night long. Reealllllly disturbing ones. Don't think twice about it. She is manipulating her relationship with you. She may need help, but she doesn't want it. She just wants to abuse you.

[BLUEDOVE]

It is very acceptable! Look after YOU!

[ladytiger]

very acceptable to tell her goodbye for good! if she cuts you out of her will, fine, remind her you can still sue her estate when she dies and can still collect it! that's what my sister told my mom yet my mom has no will but keeps telling us she won't leave us anything that it will all go to my brother and 1st born half sister whom i don't know. not sure why it would go to her she would end up throwing it all away she isn't of sound mind to do anything responsible like that she is either 50 or almost there.

[wimpysalmon]

Make sure you do both, put reasonable distance between the abuser and yourself. It may be necessary to keep her at a distance. I recommend a counselor to help with forgiveness. This will help you heal. The therapist should be able to help you understand what forgiveness is and is not. That will be important so you don't get trapped in any more abuse or guilt. The forgiveness is for your health not hers. Keep that in mind. Still feeling hurt or angry does not mean you have failed to forgive by the way, those are processes.

[Vegasgal33]

I'm so sorry but I believe that it is absolutely acceptable to cut a person out of your life that is hurting you to that degree no matter if it is your own mother. My mother has forced me in to the same thing almost.........so sad for a mother to behave that way.

[Depletion]

Yes it is acceptable to cut her out. Just being related to someone does not entitle them to a relationship with you. Just like anyone else your family has to earn your trust and respect. They are responsible for making themselves safe people to be around. You have every right to determine that they are not safe, and not deserving of a relationship with you. Relationships are privileges, not rights.

[ladytiger]

Agreed. A family is a relationship it requires trust like any other relationship, people in this world seem to forget that. I was told by people because they are family, the trust is there automatically there - really?!? Then, it should work that when meeting new people if that's the case!

If there's no trust, then there's no relationship simple as that! Idiot ex therapist couldn't seem to grasp that yet she is a mom and I'm suppose to take what she says as gold? I can't understand people like that. Until a "family member" shows they are trustworthy, then may be there could be a relationship, but that takes time.