so... reward for enduring abuse is to be alone?

Is that true? well son is moving out - very good for him - shows that he has matured. I'm alone - totally now... I have one close friend... but she is in FL and I've decided that I don't want to be friends anymore. I play a very small part in her life - too much energy extended to keep the friendship going. My son who I've had a pretty good relationship with, said tonight that he most likely won't have time in the future for me - besides "what would we do" as he puts it.

So the abusers in my life have most definetly won. The person (me) who said "I will never give up EVER" has given up. There isn't ANYTHING that anyone could ever do anymore that would hurt me - it's all been done. So am I the ultimate winner - is the goal to get to the place where no one can hurt you because you are unhurtable?

I said to T today that the people in my life have always been big "blips" on the screen to me but I am but a very small "blip" on their screen. I've always asked how can I make this person feel better, what can I do to help make their life easier. But not so with me.

The end result of abuse is to be alone - the ultimate "win" by the abuser.

{{{{{{{{{frewill}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way.
If I might say something. It think you can use the "alone time" to make yourself feel better. What I mean is that sometimes we put so much energy into others lives that we tend to forget how important our own life is.
You need to nurture yourself first and maybe find activities that will open room for you to meet new people.
I'm not a group person at all, I like to be just by myself.
But, somedays we need that "one friend" that we can call and have a nice chat with.
You'll find the right people, but maybe, first you need to find yourself and feel confortable within.
PM me anytime, I'm here for you hon~

I'm not sure if this would help or not, This is something I do to relaxe I practice Tai Chi. With Tai chi It is you and you body working to gether I am now at a point where I have not had a bad attack in a long while. Sometimes they do come out in me That is the point I'm at I wish you well

i completely agree with biplol. once you have learned through working during this 'alone time' that you are enough for yourself all by yourself, you can approach other people knowing that they owe you the same respect you give yourself and you will find the healthiest relationships you have had.

Yep.... it is time to work on me... LOL.... yousa... LOL... I'm not sure how I'll come out if I "actually" spend time for me.....

Thank you for being there when I was at one of my blackest hours... truly...