emotional, physical,and mental abuse!

So I have been in this relationship with this guy for along time. I have delt with all kinds of abuse from him. I don't know what to do. When we got together I was very young and alone. So he seemed like an angel for just being there. I soon then realized that he had an alcohol abuse problem. He becomes very violent and belligerent when he is under the influence. I am at times very scared of him. I won't let him know though. I have tried to leave him but he becomes very drunk and then he holds all of my stuff hostage. Besides the fact that we now share a child together. I am feeling like all is lost. I am very sad that my relationship isn't getting better because I love this man. I want to be free and I want to feel like I deserve to be treated with respect again. I need support to do what I know it is time to do. We have tried him quitting drinking, counceling, whatever. But he still thinks he can touch me and talk to me however he wants. That I can't tolerate.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{mommy3}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry hon. The things you ask and need for are all on you rigth to have.
Do you have any family support, friends?
PM me anytime~

Talk and write and talk and write some more. Go to family and friends and open up to them. It is through the loving aid of others that you will find your way out. You already know what to do, you just don't know how to do it (yet) You do deserve better and not only that, you will one day find better because now know what is unacceptable to you. Your child is watching and learning from your example so allow your bravery to show and take the steps for yourself. You have already done all you can for your husband. There is no shame in any of this.

Sometimes when we get stuck in an abusive relationship, we start to believe that we don't deserve any better, that is maybe just our lot in life...

I don't have practical advice for you on what to do and how to do it, but I want to say that you should never fall into the trap of believing you can't do better... You can and you will.

I agree with almostangela, the support of family and friends is very valuable at these times... you need someone to help you through this....

Might I suggest you call the local domestic violence hotline? They offer assistance and a safe place to stay when leaving an abusive relationship. Will also help get you re-established with clothes, food, etc. What you are exposing you child to is abusive. Children learn from example and I know you're thinking about it, but is this what you want your child to learn? That's it's okay to hit women, abuse them verbally, emotionally, physically? I don't think so or you wouldn't've written here.
Please get out as soon as you can. The local domestic violence center may even come and pick you up and help you get away.

((((mom3)))