stood there

i stood there pretending i was enjoyibng it i stood there i remember the smells teh clouds i remember the brown tooth he had i remember my heart racing i remmeber then i dont remember no more

This sounds a lot like my experience. I remember parts of what was done to me and what the surroundings were like. I remember being so afraid. Bits of memories still come back sometimes. They make me cry sometimes, take my breath away others, leave me crushed sometimes, but sometimes I feel just relieved to be able to get answers. For you, I'm really sorry you had to pretend to enjoy what was obviously so painful and made your heart race. If you come to remember more, try to be gentle with yourself and find support where it's safe, including here.

Be well,

mtd

Hello Mouse. Take care I hope things get better for you with your therapy. Take care sweetie. Soidhonia

(((((((( Mouse ))))))))

((((((( HUGS ))))))) - your PAIN is felt through my own EXPERIENCE.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -